Unless you are "allergic to gluten", live in L.A., or are living UNDER A ROCK, you have a favorite bagel. That delicious carbohydrate/starch/calorie-full heaven is your source of happiness.
And I know this because that is a cold, hard fact. It's a legitimate, SCIENTIFIC FACT. It's also a scientific fact that your personality and general disposition towards life can be discovered by knowing which type of bagel you chow down on.
Don't question it. This is a fact. And everything on the internet is true, OK?
The Everything Bagel
The Plain Bagel
The Whole Wheat Bagel
The Blueberry Bagel
The Cinnamon Raisin Bagel
The Onion Bagel
The Rolled Oats Bagel
The Spelt Bagel
I KNOW, I KNOW. I told you it's a scientific fact that your bagel does indeed tell us exactly who you are! You can stop acting so surprised!