That’s why there’s a hole- so we can see straight to your heart.
Ella, ella, ella. EH, EH, EH.
I firmly stand my ground on this one.
Actual things I’ve been told by the lovely men driving around NYC. (And they’re probably not philosophical.)
It’s worse than going to an AA meeting… you only have twelve steps over there.
I’m sorry you’re a handsome loser too.
Live here already? Thinking about coming out East? If you can make it here, you can pay rent virtually anywhere else.
Like Lady Gaga or your boyfriend’s refrigerator.
17 different types of people I see on the street. I’m sure there’s more, but c’mon, it’s New York. There are people walking with mannequin legs on their heads.
Au revoir mon ami. Maybe someday our paths will meet again.
This 401K makes so much sense!- and other lies I tell myself.
Here are a few ideas, and luckily for you they don’t lead to a cliff to jump off of.
But I probably won’t make you a sandwich. Oh, and your mom is so dumb!
That was all.
Because a politician in my coffee is just plain unsanitary.
You thought you were so cool with those stamp markers. But I had a one-up with those Lisa Frank folders.
The Olympics this year has taught me one thing. Technology sucks.
Summertime got you down? Shut up, go to Antarctica where you belong.
If only this weren’t based on real life.