back to top
Community

Pretend To Work At The Nine-Nine And We'll Reveal Which Type Of Onion You Are

Gotta do something while you're stuck on desk duty.

Posted on
  1. Whatever Beyoncé is wearing. We have a spiritual connection you couldn't fathom
    Any shirt I haven't accidentally ripped by flexing too hard
    One of 36 sensible, yet fun, pantsuits
    Something black. And leather. Preferably with no blood on it.
    I'm wearing a tie. Is that not professional enough for you?!
    The uniform provided by my job. It is efficient, comfortable, and signifies my rank.
  2. My motorcycle
    A minivan! It's practical and kid-friendly.
    A colorful convertible with deep emotional significance to myself and my partner
    The subway! It gives me time to catch up on my notary podcasts.
    On the back of a majestic wolf
    I haven't paid my car insurance in six months so I think I'll walk.
  3. Takoyaki. They're like doughnut holes, but not sweet and filled with minced octopus!
    A nutrition brick in "whole-wheat, no-flavor"
    Brisket! Or half of this muffin from my desk.
    Greek yogurt with a dash of honey
    Coffee. Sweet coffee.
    Moose tracks ice cream. It's a delicious treat for all ages.
  4. Chanelb
    Grucchi
    Stella McCarkeys
    The one with the muff
    Coat! Coat! Jacket! Coat! Is this a police precinct or a Turkish bazaar?
    I am not touching that box
  5. I was lightly stabbed
    My boyfriend's ancient mattress
    An exploding high-pressure cooking device
    I don't feel pain. Or any other feeling. Let's never speak of this again.
    You mean the wound from when I was beat up in prison or from when I was shot while in witness protection?
    The greatest wound of all is knowing I might never truly be BFFs with Rhianna
  6. Carve a hole in one of the tables with my knife. It's stress relief. Shut up.
    I will certainly not be playing Kwazy Cupcakes
    I'll practice for my dance crew's latest, greatest routine
    Figuring out how to get free snacks from the vending machine
    I will use the break room's facilities to cook a gourmet meal that may or may not involve goat meat
    I actually call it "the puzzle room" since I mostly use it to do Sudoku
  7. The Pontiac Bandit
    A gigglepig kingpin
    The leader of an opera ticket scalping ring
    Illegal batmeat sellers from the darkweb
    A purveyor of knockoff scrapbooking supplies
    Whoever stole my Joseph Gordon-Levitt nesting dolls
  8. "Velvet Thunder"
    "Death Blade" AKA "Rex Buckingham" AKA "Jack Tractive" AKA "Pinto"
    "Twink Tucker"
    "The Scorpion"
    "Ebony Falcon"
    "Amy Santiago"

Pretend To Work At The Nine-Nine And We'll Reveal Which Type Of Onion You Are

You got: Vidalia

You have a distinctive sweet taste that is full-flavored and hearty. You are popular and versatile, but always make your presence known. Despite your seemingly carefree image you've worked very hard to get where you are today, and you plan to stay on top. You are delicious in soups, onion rings, salads, sauces, sandwiches, and even desserts.

Vidalia
Vidalia Onions
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app
You got: Cippolini

You have flat bulbs with yellow-bronze skin that grow up to 4" in diameter. You have a delicate, sophisticated flavor with more residual sugar than the average yellow onion. You are excellent pickled, grilled, fried, or caramelized.

Cippolini
The Kitchn
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app
You got: Long Red Florence

You are an unstoppable onion. In poor soil and rough conditions you still exhibit strong, steady growth. You are underappreciated by the masses, but are a godsend to those who recognize how useful you really are. You have long, graceful bulbs and a robust flavor.

Long Red Florence
A Kitchen Garden Notebook
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app
You got: Ebenezer

Your flesh is firm, hardy, and disease resistant. You have an enduring temperament and keep long after the growing season. Your flavor is mild on the surface, but you can occasionally display a pleasing bite. You are delicious when cooked into stews and soups.

Ebenezer
Gardens Alive
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app
You got: Wolf

I don't understand. We didn't put wolf as an answer to this quiz. This is a quiz about onions. ONIONS. A wolf is not an onion. Congratulations — your proud, wild spirit has officially broken this quiz.

Wolf
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app
You got: Alisa Globe

You are by far the biggest onion that can be produced in a short growing season. Your flesh is firm and your bulbs are large, globe-shaped, and solid. You are best prepared fresh and are affectionately known as the "Sweet Giant."

Alisa Globe
Seed Savers' Exchange
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app
You got: Ruby Ring

You are a classic Spanish type with durable ruby skin. Your flavor is strong, spicy, and sweet. You sometimes make people cry, even when you don't mean to. You are an excellent addition to casseroles, soups, and salsas. You are also delicious grilled.

Ruby Ring
Territorial Seed
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app

Did you know you can sign up for a BuzzFeed Community account and create your own BuzzFeed posts? Here's a handy guide to help you start posting today!

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss