back to top
Community

Pretend To Work At The Nine-Nine And We'll Reveal Which Type Of Onion You Are

Gotta do something while you're stuck on desk duty.

Posted on
  1. What do you wear to work?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Whatever Beyoncé is wearing. We have a spiritual connection you couldn't fathom
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Any shirt I haven't accidentally ripped by flexing too hard
    Correct
    Incorrect
    One of 36 sensible, yet fun, pantsuits
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Something black. And leather. Preferably with no blood on it.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'm wearing a tie. Is that not professional enough for you?!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The uniform provided by my job. It is efficient, comfortable, and signifies my rank.
  2. How do you get to work?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My motorcycle
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A minivan! It's practical and kid-friendly.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A colorful convertible with deep emotional significance to myself and my partner
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The subway! It gives me time to catch up on my notary podcasts.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    On the back of a majestic wolf
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I haven't paid my car insurance in six months so I think I'll walk.
  3. What's for breakfast?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Takoyaki. They're like doughnut holes, but not sweet and filled with minced octopus!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A nutrition brick in "whole-wheat, no-flavor"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Brisket! Or half of this muffin from my desk.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Greek yogurt with a dash of honey
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Coffee. Sweet coffee.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Moose tracks ice cream. It's a delicious treat for all ages.
  4. The office is a little chilly. What brand of coat from the lost and found do you choose?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Chanelb
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Grucchi
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Stella McCarkeys
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The one with the muff
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Coat! Coat! Jacket! Coat! Is this a police precinct or a Turkish bazaar?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I am not touching that box
  5. An old wound starts acting up. How did you get it?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I was lightly stabbed
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My boyfriend's ancient mattress
    Correct
    Incorrect
    An exploding high-pressure cooking device
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I don't feel pain. Or any other feeling. Let's never speak of this again.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    You mean the wound from when I was beat up in prison or from when I was shot while in witness protection?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The greatest wound of all is knowing I might never truly be BFFs with Rhianna
  6. How do you use your time in the break room?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Carve a hole in one of the tables with my knife. It's stress relief. Shut up.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I will certainly not be playing Kwazy Cupcakes
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'll practice for my dance crew's latest, greatest routine
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Figuring out how to get free snacks from the vending machine
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I will use the break room's facilities to cook a gourmet meal that may or may not involve goat meat
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I actually call it "the puzzle room" since I mostly use it to do Sudoku
  7. You're about to make a break in your biggest case. Who are you after?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The Pontiac Bandit
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A gigglepig kingpin
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The leader of an opera ticket scalping ring
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Illegal batmeat sellers from the darkweb
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A purveyor of knockoff scrapbooking supplies
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Whoever stole my Joseph Gordon-Levitt nesting dolls
  8. Finally, what code name do your fellow officers know you by?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Velvet Thunder"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Death Blade" AKA "Rex Buckingham" AKA "Jack Tractive" AKA "Pinto"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Twink Tucker"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "The Scorpion"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Ebony Falcon"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Amy Santiago"

Did you know you can sign up for a BuzzFeed Community account and create your own BuzzFeed posts? Here's a handy guide to help you start posting today!

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!
 
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.