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Aug 5, 2015

26 Things That Only Emetophobes Will Understand

Emetophobia: The struggle is real.

1. If someone in your household is throwing up, you can be found hiding and crying.

Nickelodeon

I'm sorry, but your feeling bad is making me feel bad, and I'm not OK with it.

2. When someone tells you they were sick, you give them the fifth degree to determine whether vomit was involved….

Paramount Pictures

3. … and if it was, you stay the fuck away from them.

Solana Films

Stop breathing my air, stop breathing my air.

4. Road trips are an absolute no.

HBO

Who needs Hell when you can be trapped in a car with a queasy sibling for nine hours?

5. Visits to amusement parks only include the rides least likely to make you, or anyone else on the ride, sick.

6. You keep a mental list of horrific things you’d rather have happen to you than vomiting.

Warner Bros.

Watch the world crumble around me, but never puke? Gladly.

7. You're cautious of public restrooms because someone could run in and puke at any time... and that would absolutely end your life.

8. You count the hours after eating to know that you've survived another meal sans food poisoning.

HBO

9. The slightest mention of vomit can ruin your entire day.

10. You could never be a teacher because kids just puke willy-nilly.

NBC

This takes parenthood off the table too.

11. You live in utter fear for your stomach through the entirety of flu season.

Paramount Pictures

12. You can't tell if you're nauseous because you're nervous or nervous because you're nauseous.

ABC Family

13. You have absolutely no idea how people who "puke-and-rally" exist.

ABC

14. You would never risk taking a cruise.

20th Century Fox

15. You've turned down prescribed pain killers because you've heard they can make you sick.

Cartoon Network

Wisdom teeth removal? Surely nothing Motrin and I can't tackle together...

16. You have a pharmaceutical armory at the ready should you be faced with a hangover.

Cartoon Network

Pepto? What are you, five?

17. You walk around in a constant state of fear-nausea.

Nickelodeon

18. You absolutely cannot deal with people puking in a movie.

Paramount Pictures

That shit IS NOT funny. It's not — okay?

19. A single negative Yelp review can scare you away from a restaurant for life.

i.imgur.com

The curry made you what?

20. It infuriates you when people tell you if you feel sick, vomiting will help.

C-SPAN

No, sir. No.

21. You constantly stock up on carbonated beverages and Gatorade just in case.

gifloop.tumblr.com

Bubbles + Electrolytes = Nirvana.

22. As soon as someone says their stomach hurts, you become paranoid that they are going to be sick on or around you.

ABC

23. And the thought of them getting you sick makes you imagine things that would send you to jail.

VH1

24. You wear Sea Bands nowhere near the sea.

Netflix

Always prepared.

25. You love your friends, but if one of them drinks to the point of vomming, they’re on their own.

NBC

Hope you feel better! Goodbye for life!

26. And you've got a whole repertoire of breathing exercises for when shit gets real.

Disney

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