1.
If someone in your household is throwing up, you can be found hiding and crying.
2.
When someone tells you they were sick, you give them the fifth degree to determine whether vomit was involved….
3.
… and if it was, you stay the fuck away from them.
4.
Road trips are an absolute no.
5.
Visits to amusement parks only include the rides least likely to make you, or anyone else on the ride, sick.
6.
You keep a mental list of horrific things you’d rather have happen to you than vomiting.
7.
You're cautious of public restrooms because someone could run in and puke at any time... and that would absolutely end your life.
8.
You count the hours after eating to know that you've survived another meal sans food poisoning.
9.
The slightest mention of vomit can ruin your entire day.
10.
You could never be a teacher because kids just puke willy-nilly.
11.
You live in utter fear for your stomach through the entirety of flu season.
12.
You can't tell if you're nauseous because you're nervous or nervous because you're nauseous.
13.
You have absolutely no idea how people who "puke-and-rally" exist.
14.
You would never risk taking a cruise.
15.
You've turned down prescribed pain killers because you've heard they can make you sick.
16.
You have a pharmaceutical armory at the ready should you be faced with a hangover.
17.
You walk around in a constant state of fear-nausea.
18.
You absolutely cannot deal with people puking in a movie.
19.
A single negative Yelp review can scare you away from a restaurant for life.
20.
It infuriates you when people tell you if you feel sick, vomiting will help.
21.
You constantly stock up on carbonated beverages and Gatorade just in case.
22.
As soon as someone says their stomach hurts, you become paranoid that they are going to be sick on or around you.
23.
And the thought of them getting you sick makes you imagine things that would send you to jail.
24.
You wear Sea Bands nowhere near the sea.
25.
You love your friends, but if one of them drinks to the point of vomming, they’re on their own.
26.
And you've got a whole repertoire of breathing exercises for when shit gets real.
