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29 Reasons Jedward Are Twin Laser Beams Of Blinding Wonderfulness

Unstoppable hair, indecipherable tweets, unbelievable trainers.

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1. Hooray for Jedward, the funniest, most energetic, and most adorable act in pop today!

Chris Jackson / Getty Images


You may disagree. You may think that Jedward are shrill, irritating little ne'er-do-wells.

But you'd be wrong.

2. You see, when John and Edward Grimes from Dublin swaggered onto the X Factor stage in 2009, they made Simon Cowell do this:


3. But they made some of us do this:


4. Why? Well, let's see. Maybe it's their irrepressible spirit.

5. Maybe it's because their hair will never be defeated.

6. Or the fact that Jedward had sticky-up hair long before Miley even thought about cutting hers.

7. Maybe it's because they ain't 'fraid of no ghost.

Simone Joyner / Getty Images

8. Or the fact that they never, ever, ever jump at exactly the same time.

9. Or perhaps it's because their trainers are without compare.

Ian Gavan / Getty Images
Getty Images

10. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT they rock a mic like a vandal, light up the stage, and wax a chump like a candle.

Here is an important YouTube video, in case you don't get the reference.
Ian Gavan / Getty Images

Here is an important YouTube video, in case you don't get the reference.

11. Also, they look unexpectedly chic in full-face makeup.

Mary-Kate and Ashley never looked this good.
Flickr: jedwards_wife

Mary-Kate and Ashley never looked this good.

12. And as BAFTAs.

Tim Whitby / Getty Images

13. They give great practical advice.

14. They're always thinking of the children.

In fact, they present a kids' TV show called Jedward's Big Adventure.

15. And are generally super-positive.

16. In fact, Jedward are all business in the front...

Ian Gavan / Getty Images

17. ... And party in the back.

Ian Gavan / Getty Images

18. Actually, they're pretty much party all the time.

Danny Martindale / Getty Images

Look at them go. Boingggg!


Jag Gundu / Getty Images

19. Where do they get all that energy?

Ian Gavan / Getty Images

Junk food?

Their definitely scientifically accurate impeccable heritage?

The fact that they will endorse almost anything for money?

Ian Gavan / Getty Images


Actually, no one really knows. Like black holes, dark matter and the double-slit experiment, what powers Jedward is one of the great mysteries of the universe.

(It's probably sugar, though)

Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images

20. Also, although they didn't win Eurovision 2012, they were the most magnificent entrants.

Pablo Blazquez Dominguez / Getty Images

21. And let's not forget the fact that we still can't quite get their 2011 Eurovision entry, Lipstick, out of our heads.

Sean Gallup / Getty Images

22. Despite being hypermegasuperstars, though, Jedward aren't too good for Lidl.

23. AND they're OLYMPIANS!

Pool / Reuters

Well, sort of.

LOCOG / Getty Images

24. Also, you can get chocolate Jedwards now.

25. And Jedward Easter eggs.

Easter Jeggwards?
Flickr: mneylon

Easter Jeggwards?

26. And also someone saw fit to do a picture of them attacking a sort of defeated-looking unicorn.

Which is just the best idea ever.

Which is just the best idea ever.

27. Jedward's indisputable greatness is also evident in whatever is going on here.

28. And in the fact that, even though they may squabble...

Jag Gundu / Getty Images

29. ... They always make up in the end with a lovely brotherly cuddle.

Oh, Jedward.

Never change.

Okay, maybe change a little.

But just a little, please.