Taken a photo with an iPad.Pushed into a queue.Been served first even though someone was at the bar before you.Listened to Nickelback ironically.Listened to Nickelback unironically.Left the pub before it was your round.Used the word "banter".Used the word "bantz".Not replied to a text immediately just to play it cool.Laughed when someone fell over in the street.Kept the keyboard sounds turned on loud on your phone.Worn a T-shirt with a picture of a penis on itShouted "waayyyyyy!" when someone has dropped something.Ignored someone's email.Corrected someone's grammar on social media.Spoiled someone's favourite TV show before they had a chance to watch it.Shouted 'HAIRCUT' at someone who has had a haircut.Answered "your mum" to some constructive criticism.Abbreviated a word unnecessarily. (Obvs, totes, blates etc.)Humblebragged.Worn formal shoes with shorts.Worn sunglasses at night time.Worn sunglasses on the tube.Parked so badly that you take up two spaces.Hit someone with a ball/frisbee while they're sunbathing.Put your bag on the seat next to you on a train.Written a letter of complaint about a disappointing packet of crisps.Tried to get a bus full of strangers to do a singalong with you.Bought a novelty phone case.Drank the last of the milk and not replaced it.Used the last of the toilet roll and not replaced it.Queued for more than an hour to eat in a restaurant.Tore pages out of a library book.Borrowed a book and not returned it.Borrowed a CD and not returned it.Borrowed a DVD and not returned it.Farted and blamed it on a nearby child/dog.Ranted about your boring life on social media.Left passive aggressive Post-it notes around the house/office.Turned up late without letting your friend know.Said "this next bit is amazing" when watching a film with someone.Sat in an aisle seat when the window seat is empty.Not given your seat up for a pregnant woman.Pretended you were asleep so as to not give your seat up for a pregnant woman.Accidentally emailed the person you were bitching about.Accidentally texted the person you were bitching about.Read the newspaper over someone else's shoulder on the train.Slapped someone who had sunburn.Listened to music through your phone (with no headphones) in public.Answered "Piers Morgan" when someone asks for your name.
How Much Of A Bellend Are You?
YOU ARE A BIT OF A BELLEND. Let's be honest, everyone is a bit of a bellend, and if they say anything else they're just lying. The good news is that there are plenty of MUCH bigger bellends out there than you. So that's something, right?
YOU ARE A HUGE BELLEND. You could be more of a bellend, but you could DEFINITELY be less of one, too. Maybe it's time to take a good hard look at yourself, and make a concerted effort to tone down your bellendness. The world will appreciate it.
YOU ARE A COLOSSAL BELLEND. Sorry about that, but you've only got yourself to blame. Accepting it is the first stage of your recovery, though, and we're here to help.