1. The almost paralysing indecision you experience when trying to choose which aisle to use.

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2. The start of your irrational hatred and anger is aimed at the idiot trying to take their trolley to the basket-only aisle.

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3. You immediately become impatient at the speed of your queue.
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4. But find brief relief when you spy all the stuff the lovely supermarket staff have put near the checkouts.
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5. It's not long though before you go back to being obsessed with getting your groceries on the conveyor belt as quickly as possible.
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6. At some point you consider binning the whole idea, dropping your shopping in the middle of the store and going to sit down in a dark room.
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7. All you want to do is reach the promised land.

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8. You start thinking horrible, violent thoughts about the people in front of you taking too long to pack their bags.
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9. And the fucking twats who insist on talking on their phones while at the checkout. IT'S TAKING YOU TWICE AS LONG AS IT SHOULD!
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10. People trying to use the exact change and money-off vouchers are also your sworn enemies.
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11. And then something truly horrific happens, you suddenly realise you’ve forgotten a part of your shopping and can't decide whether to leave the queue to get it.
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12. You decide to leave it and then... utter joy, you reach the start of the conveyor belt.

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13. You immediately get suspicious when the checkout assistant is friendly.
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14. Or irrationally pissed off when they are grumpy. RUDE!
15. Then comes the worst part of the whole experience – trying to open the carrier bags.

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16. You can't open them, everyone is watching, you have become your own worst enemy, everything is bad.
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17. You get oversensitive at the horrible mean people judging you for being so slow.
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18. But then – "I OPENED A BAG!"
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19. The real fun finally begins as you race to pack your bags in the fastest time ever.
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20. And after you've paid you quickly make your way to the exit to celebrate your freedom.
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21. But you will always be haunted by the horror that is the supermarket checkout.

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