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23 Reasons You Should Never Watch American Football

Let Britain show you how real football is done.

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1. There are two types of football in this world, and only one is worth watching...

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

2. They both involve a load of people knocking a ball around a rectangular box. But only one of them is any good...

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3. You see, American football just doesn't have the same history as the REAL version of football, which is based on rules from the 19th century.

Getty

But you know what they say about Americans and history...

4. They both claim to be the greatest sport in the world. But in American football...where are the individual stars?

Matthias Hangst / Getty Images

5. American football players wear so much padding. Padding on their ass, padding on their shoulders, padding in their helmet, padding on the posts...

Vi-images / Getty Images

Try playing with just a pair of shin pads, lads.

6. And the coaches always seem to be angry middle-aged men in tracksuits shouting from the sidelines.

Reddit / Via reddit.com

Show some decorum, guys. You'd never get that in our version of football.

7. You're obsessed with winning trophies – what's the deal, why do you care so much? It's just a piece of metal in the shape of a rugby ball.

In our version of football we just play for fun, we don't really care about trophies to be honest. It's all about good sportsmanship and British politeness.
Laurence Griffiths / Getty Images

In our version of football we just play for fun, we don't really care about trophies to be honest. It's all about good sportsmanship and British politeness.

8. You're always talking about how it's this "collision sport", but we all know which "football" the real heroes play.

YouTube / Via youtube.com

This footballer valiantly got up and played on after this horrific incident.

9. You need to stop flopping and diving all the time.

YouTube / Via youtube.com

10. You'd never see such bad sportsmanship happen in our version of football.

YouTube / Via youtube.com

Premier League footballers are angels, one and all.

11. American football fans are obsessed with fantasy football, with the EA Sports Madden games. We'd never get wrapped up with that sort of thing in the UK.

Copa90 / Via youtube.com

View this video on YouTube

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12. You seem to have this obsession with stats, which distracts you from the action on the pitch.

NFL

13. But British sports rise above all that.

...see?
Twitter

...see?

14. Your fans just don't seem to have the same levels of passion.

Getty Sports

15. You never make it clear who you're supporting.

Justin Edmonds / Getty Images

16. You just don't seem to get into it in quite the same way.

David E. Klutho / Getty Images

17. Where are your idols? Where are your heroes?

Jim Mcisaac / Getty Images

18. Where are your celebrity fans?

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

19. WHERE ARE THEY?

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

20. Where's the emotion?

Tom Pennington / Getty Images

WHERE IS IT?!

21. Where's the sense of fun?

Mike Ehrmann / Getty Images

Oh...there it is.

22. OK, perhaps we're not so different, both sports are great.

Issac Baldizon / Getty Images

23. It'd probably be a shame to watch just one...

Afp / AFP/Getty Images
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