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19 Tweets About Office Life That Are Funny Because They Are Fucking True

"Every office is only as motivated as its snack selection"

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1.

coworker: “may the fourth” be with you!! haha me: i often daydream about your demise

2.

I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 30 minutes over time.

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4.

coworker: OMG wow!!!! it is SO beautiful outside!!!!!! me: [wearing headphones but not listenig to any music] then why did u come inside

5.

[in the carpark after work] Supervisor: bye, David. Have a good weekend Me [giving him the finger]: you're not in charge now

6.

Keep your coworkers on their feet by beginning your next e-mail with "If you're reading this, I'm already dead."

7.

[break room] coworker: what's for lunch? me: [eating] food, generally cw: no, I mean what are you having? me: an unwanted conversation

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8.

I like to lightheartedly tell my coworkers, "Don't even talk to me until I've had my coffee!" And then I never get coffee.

9.

Me: I hate this place. Coworker: Go back to school. Get a better job. Do what you love. Me: No I meant Earth.

10.

If a coworker asks to borrow your pen - sniff it and say, “I think this one is safe” and see if they’ll take it from your hand.

12.

I wonder how many consecutive Mondays Todd will respond "not long enough" in regards to how his weekend was. We're at 7.

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13.

Please ignore this tweet, I'm pretending to be adding a coworker's phone number.

14.

The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.

15.

[waiting for elevator] Coworker: Hey, how's it go- Me: I'll take the stairs.

16.

Is there a way I can filter out all work emails except the ones telling me there are donuts or cake in the office?

17.

I wonder if my coworkers know I've worn the same outfit every day for 5 months

18.

When your coworker walks out the restroom and you didn't hear the water run

19.

Some coworkers sign emails with "cheers" or "sincerely" followed by their names but I typically use "you've made a powerful enemy today."

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