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    19 Tweets About Office Life That Are Funny Because They Are Fucking True

    "Every office is only as motivated as its snack selection"


    coworker: “may the fourth” be with you!! haha me: i often daydream about your demise


    I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 30 minutes over time.


    Katie_martynova / Getty Images / Twitter: @TheCatWhisprer


    coworker: OMG wow!!!! it is SO beautiful outside!!!!!! me: [wearing headphones but not listenig to any music] then why did u come inside


    [in the carpark after work] Supervisor: bye, David. Have a good weekend Me [giving him the finger]: you're not in charge now


    Keep your coworkers on their feet by beginning your next e-mail with "If you're reading this, I'm already dead."


    [break room] coworker: what's for lunch? me: [eating] food, generally cw: no, I mean what are you having? me: an unwanted conversation


    I like to lightheartedly tell my coworkers, "Don't even talk to me until I've had my coffee!" And then I never get coffee.


    Me: I hate this place. Coworker: Go back to school. Get a better job. Do what you love. Me: No I meant Earth.


    If a coworker asks to borrow your pen - sniff it and say, “I think this one is safe” and see if they’ll take it from your hand.


    Carotur / Getty Images / Twitter: @aparnapkin

    Salty snacks


    I wonder how many consecutive Mondays Todd will respond "not long enough" in regards to how his weekend was. We're at 7.


    Please ignore this tweet, I'm pretending to be adding a coworker's phone number.


    The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.


    [waiting for elevator] Coworker: Hey, how's it go- Me: I'll take the stairs.


    Is there a way I can filter out all work emails except the ones telling me there are donuts or cake in the office?


    I wonder if my coworkers know I've worn the same outfit every day for 5 months


    When your coworker walks out the restroom and you didn't hear the water run


    Some coworkers sign emails with "cheers" or "sincerely" followed by their names but I typically use "you've made a powerful enemy today."

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