The 19 Worst Things That Can Possibly Happen To A Lazy Person

    Remote. Too. Far. Hellllppp.

    1. When something drops on the floor and you try to pick it up with your feet and it all goes horribly wrong.

    2. Or when you try to pick it up without having to get out of your seat and you end up faceplanting the floor.

    3. When you try to reach your phone and end up pushing it further away.

    4. Or it slips down the side of the bed and you have to go through the highly strenuous task of retrieving it.

    5. When someone decides to "pop by" because they're in the neighbourhood so you have to shower and look like a functional human being.

    6. When you're all wrapped up and comfortable in your bed and you suddenly have the urge to go pee.

    7. When you need to change the TV channel but the remote is too far out of reach.

    8. When you're desperate for some ice-cream but you can't be bothered to go to the shop so you have to just live with the pain and longing.

    9. When you're hungry but it takes too much effort to chew.

    10. When you've bought a really tasty ready meal and you find out it takes 45 minutes in the oven and cannot be microwaved.

    11. When you haven't done the dishes and you run out of appropriate eating utensils.

    12. When you end up wearing something dirty because you throw all of your clothes on the floor and you can't tell which ones are clean.

    13. When your alarm goes off but you're too far away to hit snooze.

    14. When your non-lazy friends want you to do something with them other than lying around and watching TV.

    15. When you share a room with someone who gets up early and pressurises you to get out of bed.

    16. When someone says it's just a "five minute walk" and it's actually 20.

    17. When there's no lift or escalator and you are forced to take the stairs.

    18. When you ask someone to bring something to you and they don't listen, they just look at you with a deep sense of shame.

    19. When someone else wants the same thing as you and you get into a war about who should go and get it and then they say: "actually I don't want it any more".