1.
“Guys don’t like when girls wear sweats to class every day” well the nice thing about that is I’m not paying 11 grand a semester so Mike from physics can have something cute to look at during lecture. Now move along you’re in the way of my degree
2.
men will literally nut 45 seconds into sex and have the audacity to ask if you came. yeah i came to the wrong house
3.
Women are not rehablitation centres for badly raised boys
4.
this girl at work asked me today if i’d ever date a guy shorter than me and i said “no i wouldn’t” so then this oth… https://t.co/KBlfPfYUA0
5.
6.
Girls chat: complimenting each other's selfies, sharing heartfelt mental health and relationship advice, taking eac… https://t.co/UzngT0RI7q
7.
Forehead kisses are how men absorb all the sense in your brain. Stay woke sis
8.
I just out-manspreaded a man next to me on the tube and forced him to take up a normal amount of space, he stepped… https://t.co/nQoewKm8F0
9.
Girls who make the clarification that they “don’t hate all men” are feds
10.
Being a straight man on instagram is easy heres coffee and a book. The book is by david foster wallace. Or michael… https://t.co/x3yqlrZW9Y
11.
pretty cool how guys in romcoms are like "i'm going to the airport to buy a $3000 same day ticket to London so i can tell Rachel i love her TONIGHT!!!" and guys in real life are like "wanna come over? we can hang out. i have 2 cans of beer also pls bring condoms i dont have any."
12.
u know when a straight girl shows u a pic of her bf and u gotta be like “aw :) he’s cute” even tho he looks like he smells like hotdog water
13.
women don't fancy men when they see good-looking chips
14.
I never wanna talk to a straight man again
15.
Men who aren't ur bf: what kind of a fool doesn't massage & oil their girlfriend three hours a day Men who are: he… https://t.co/1VNQCMlwvm
16.
Boys please learn how to take selfies so I stop embarrassing myself when I show my friends your pictures. Now I gotta explain that you’re cuter in person and these bitches looking at me like I got a crush on a toad.
17.
Instead of Jack the Ripper, how about Jill the Ripper? And instead of murdering & mutilating innocent women, she lures dude bros into dark alleys where groups of us are waiting to tell them to calm down for no reason & to smile more
18.
PSA: if you see a woman who is working super hard to become who she's meant to be, and achieve the things she wants to achieve, and you have nothing to add to her life, or to give back to her in any way, please just leave her the fuck alone.