1. You're not ashamed to admit you don't know how to ride a bike.
2. Because maybe you were busy doing other shit growing up.
3. Or maybe it's because there was only one bike you truly loved, that you truly trusted. And after it died, well, you never rode again.
4. If you did have a bike growing up, you only ever experienced the joy of training wheels.
5. But since they don't make adult bikes with training wheels you often fantasise about owning a tricycle.
6. However, deep down you know that people would just laugh at you if you rode anything other than a 2-wheeler bike.
7. You get completely dumbfounded when you see tiny children riding proper bikes with such reckless abandon.
HOW ARE YOU SO FEARLESS CHILDREN?
8. Because you're a little bit nervous about riding a bike without training wheels now that you're an adult.
9. Whenever it comes out that you can't ride a bike, people never quite believe you.
10. So you have to be all like: "HAAA! NO IT'S TRUE!"
11. But yet somehow it still doesn't compute.
12. So you have to be like: "I KNOW RIGHT? CRAZY?!"
13. People love to poke fun at you for your lack of bike skills.
14. And sometimes you do get embarrassed.
15. Because you want to go mountain biking, or cycling in the forest just like everyone else, and you know you can't.
16. And you know that riding a bike is often the best way to explore a new city and you're missing out on this.
17. So when a friend has offered, you've considered letting them teach you how to ride a bike.
18. Besides, how hard could it really be?
19. Maybe you'll finally discover the pure joy of bike-riding.
20. Or maybe you'll just come to accept that it just isn't for you.
21. Because after all, you've got plenty of other useful skills.
And this is why I believe I should be the next president of the United States of America.
So who cares if you can't ride a bike?