1. Food is basically the centre of your universe.
2. So you never quite know your limits.
Parmesan Sir? "Yes please" Say when. *Grates Parmesan* Sir? "..." *Grates fingers* SIR? "..." *Grates entire hand* Please...I have a family.
3. Which means you always end up pregnant...with a food baby.
4. A food baby so big, it renders you incapable of leaving a restaurant.
guys find it sexy when a girl eats so much she has to lie down in the restaurant
5. Which is why staying at home is always a wise choice.
6. But if anyone expects you to get up or do anything, you're like:
7. Because with a food baby, comes a food coma.
8. You're never alone during pregnancy, your friends all have food babies too.
9. Although some of them have real babies.
she has a real baby i have a food baby
10. Eating constantly always seems like such a good idea at the time.
11. But then when you're lying down in pain, you realise it's probably the worst.
12. Even when you're practically bursting from fullness, you always manage to fit in that little bit more.
I ate too much. This ice cream is making me feel better about it, though.
Because dessert doesn't count.
13. Because you'd rather overeat than turn down an opportunity to experience something glorious.
14. When you're practically bursting at the waist, people are always making those "are you expecting" comments.
15. So you've learned to come more adequately prepared.
16. Although sometimes you're so full you get the sweats and just HAVE to take off all of your clothes.
17. But nothing, nothing can give you the relief like finally giving birth.
18. And then within no time at all, you're ready to do it all again.
19. Because it's an endless cycle, but it's the best endless cycle.
