1. When you make the initial promise to yourself but then immediately regret it.
[17 minutes into diet] I can't live like this.
2. Because on the first day you vowed to be healthy fucking Debra brought in Krispy Kremes for the office.
3. When you decide to have a salad but then negate the purpose of the salad.
when life is hard but ur trying to be healthy
4. When you give in to temptation once, but then decide you might as well give up all together.
5. Or when you deprive yourself of anything tasty for so long that you end up going crazy.
6. When someone reminds you about how far your cheating ways can set you back.
7. When you try a healthy alternative like cauliflower pizza full of hope, and then you come to the damning realisation that you cannot have it all.
8. When you try something from a health blog and it comes out horribly wrong and DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THE PICTURES.
9. But you continue to waste hours and hours looking at pretty breakfasts on Instagram because it inspires you.
10. When you asked someone not to let you eat shit, but they just give into you as soon as you suggest eating shit.
Me: We really need to start eating better. Husband: Yep. M: H: M: H: M: H: M: H: Me: Wanna just have nachos for dinner? Husband: YES.
11. When you discover that a snack you thought was healthy, isn't actually healthy at all.
12. When your food log starts to go horribly wrong and you cannot bear to write down the exact truth of what you've eaten.
13. When your mate wants to go for dinner and you make a firm decision to eat healthy but as soon as you see fries you're like:
14. When you manage to get your arse to the gym but then you leave after five minutes on the elliptical because you don't know what the hell you're doing.
15. And when the only time you feel motivated to actually do a proper workout is because you know you have an epic meal planned afterwards.
16. When you bring in your own lunch to work and everyone comments on how healthy it is and you're trying to be proud of yourself but actually you're slowly dying inside.
17. And when a colleague catches you eating something unhealthy and calls you out on it.
18. When you try to eat the recommended portion of something but then immediately go back for seconds. And thirds. And fourths.
19. And when trying to be healthy is just one vicious but delicious cycle.
Stages of dieting 1. Read about new diet 2. Spend $300 on vegetables 3. Commit publicly to diet on FB 4. Dive head first into plate of bacon