2. When you were completely ignored by the birthday kid.
3. Making it all suddenly clear you were the pity invite.
4. Or when you got stuck with that kid no one wanted to hang out with.
5. When you got an empty layer on Pass the Parcel.
6. Or worse, a fucking forfeit.
8. When your "mate" knocked you off a musical chair at the last minute.
9. When you pinned the tail so far off the donkey.
10. Or just generally when all the games were rigged in favour of the birthday kid.
11. When your sworn enemy got picked to be the entertainer's assistant.
12. Or worse, when the entertainer was A FUCKING CLOWN.
13. When you gave the worst present because your parents wanted to be practical.
14. When the adults wouldn't UNWRAP THE FOOD.
15. When the party food did not include party rings/jelly and ice cream/sausage rolls.
16. When this happened.
17. When your parents picked you up early.
18. When you ended up with a runt party bag that everyone had nicked from.
19. Or when you didn't get a party bag at all.
20. But NOTHING was worse than not being invited in the first place.
21. And you weren't at all consumed by bitterness when it was the hot topic at school on Monday.
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