1. Food is relevant, all the time, in any situation.
2. And you need to protect it at all costs.
3. In times of adversity, food needs to come first.
4. It's always at the top of your to-do-list, because, priorities.
5. So decisions are literally a piece of cake.
6. Like eating a tub of Nutella all to yourself and giving zero fucks.
7. Although if you had a magic lamp you'd know what you'd really want.
8. Which is basically the ability to control weather.
9. The very sight of food, real or not, makes you hungry.
10. And desperate.
11. And envious. SO envious.
12. Food basically gives you all kinds of emotions.
13. Even though eating can sometimes seem like an unsurmountable task, you always power through.
14. Because NOM NOM NOMMING is where it's at.
15. Even when you know you shouldn't, you snack attack.
16. But if you get caught you're a pro at sweet talking.
"Linda, honey, honey look at this".
"You're NOT listening, I said NO cupcakes".
17. Failing that, you'll just deny all knowledge of your actions.
"Did you eat those sprinkles?"
"No."
"You have sprinkles on your face."
"Oh no."
18. Eating is basically your greatest talent.
19. Because food is your greatest inspiration.
