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18 Tweets That Are Funny Because They Are Fucking Relatable

"Putting your iPod on shuffle in front of your friends is like playing Russian roulette with their respect for you."

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1.

The best thing about working out and eating well is knowing that eventually I'll be dead and won't have to do this anymore

2.

[discovers something online] Wow, amazing!!! [two minutes later, seeing someone else discover same thing] yeah, no shit

3.

Mentioning your best friend in front of regular friends lets them feel the sting of inadequacy they deserve!

4.

ME:[defending myself] Oh yeah?? Well I got 5 words for you buddy: please be nice to me

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6.

when someone is looking for something i help by saying "it's gotta be around here somewhere"

7.

My one weakness? Probably my unshakable belief that, despite a total lack of training, I'll be able to do karate if I'm ever in a fight.

8.

If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?

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9.

10.

*drinks 1 bottle of water* man i am so good at taking care of myself i mean wow

11.

1985: you will literally go blind if you are too close to the tv screen 2016: PUT EVERYTHING YOU DO ON A SCREEN REAL CLOSE TO YOUR FACE

12.

Putting your iPod on shuffle around your friends is like playing Russian roulette with their respect for you.

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13.

Who the fuck is this asshole? Me- every time someone drives down my street.

14.

Before I buy anything I check my bank account like “Ah…uh huh, I definitely can’t afford this” and then I buy it anyway

15.

1995: [at blockbuster] yes, please call me when the movie I want is returned 2016: [netflix won't load] I've never endured such suffering

16.

I don't know why I'm anxious. I just constantly stare at a device that beams nightmares into my eyes.

17.

KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week

18.

i'm great!! i'm good i'm doing good hahaha. i mean "well" haha! haha i'm doing well, not good! haha i'm not doing good! im not doing so good