1. Finally wrestling yourself into a pair of tights only to discover they have a ladder in them.
2. Finding another pair and discovering a hole at the big toe.
3. If you're lucky enough to find a pair that's hole and ladder-free, there'll be another problem, like them sagging at the crotch so you constantly have to pull them up throughout the day.
4. Someone inevitably catching you doing this, which as everyone knows, is impossible to do with dignity.
5. Doing a flawless face of makeup only to have it ruined by needing to wipe your snotty nose.
6. Forgetting lip balm and then having to lick your lips to moisturise them, which only makes them dryer as well as making you look creepy.
7. And having to peel what seems like never-ending dry flakes of skin off your lips.
8. Which makes wearing matte lipstick a complete nightmare.
9. The cold making your nipples go so hard they start rubbing against your bra.
10. And having to resist the urge not to rub them back to warmth in public.
11. Feeling your dry and crusty feet rub against your socks or the static of your tights as you put them on.
12. Having to buy hand cream every week because you're suddenly having to slather it on every five minutes.
13. Wearing a T-shirt to bed because you get so hot in the night, but then not being able to get out of bed in the morning because you're so cold.
14. Wearing a really glam outfit for a night out, only for it to be ruined by your floor-length parka coat, wooly scarf, and ear muffs.
15. Looking cute in your winter hat but then getting terrible hat hair when you take it off.
16. Your hair going static from the constant switching between being outside in the cold, to inside buildings where the heating is cranked up high.
17. Having to constantly moisturise to avoid the layer of white, ashy skin flakes all over your body.
18. Your foundation no longer matching your neck.
19. And it clinging onto every dry patch of winter skin.
20. Wearing a thick jumper that makes you hot and sweaty, but not being able to take it off because you've not got anything on underneath.
21. Wearing some cropped trousers and then remembering that you've not shaved your legs in several weeks.
22. Clothes shopping being totally pointless because you can't take off your seven layers of clothes to try things on.
23. Getting sweaty feet from the combination of thick tights and boots.
24. Ruining the sleeves of your nice jumpers by gently dabbing at the trickle of snot running down your nose when you don't have a tissue.
25. Not being able to leave the house with wet hair because it will never dry.
26. Friction making your skirts ride up underneath your coat and being constantly paranoid you're going to flash your underwear.
27. Losing all concept of when you last washed your tights and then feeling a bit gross.
28. And when you do wash them, having to untangle the tights-octopus that has formed.
29. Your scalp drying out so that you have snowflakes of your very own, on your head.
30. Trying every vitamin C serum, cream, or mask, but your skin still looking like it's had the life sucked out of it.
31. Spending a small fortune on vitamin supplements and then only remembering to actually take them on randoms days of the week.
32. Doing your first pee of the morning and being shocked by the freezing cold toilet seat.
33. And the sensation of putting a cold bra on when you're already freezing as it is.
34. Your socks rolling down in your boots and being powerless to do anything about it.
35. Needing to remove your giant coat and gloves every time you need to pee in a public toilet.
36. And then putting your still-slightly-damp hands back in the gloves after you've washed them.
37. Removing a glove and it getting snagged on a raggedy fingernail.
38. Spending an extra 15 minutes of your morning looking for one of your bloody gloves.
39. Leaving yet another scarf in a bar.