WTF I Just Found Out That Some People Stand Up To Wipe After Pooping And I'm Honestly Confused

Is even poop dividing us?

So the other day I was having dinner with my housemate, when she told me that a comedian she had just gone to see had revealed a very interesting fact during the show: Apparently when people wipe their bum after going for a poo, there's an almost equal split between those who sit while doing it and those who stand.

MTV

According to my housemate, the comedian did a poll via a show of hands and proved his point – there was an equal split between sitters and standers in the room, and what was more interesting was that both camps were surprised by one another's choice.

As a sitter, I was frankly shocked by this information and immediately wanted to know which camp my friends were in.

Remee Patel

Weirdly they all replied straight away without question, so I don't know what that says about me.

Most of my mates were natural sitters and were as confused as I was.

Remee Patel

Others weren't so sure what they did and needed to get back to me.

Remee Patel

He never did get back to me, though. Suspicious.

The women at BuzzFeed UK had a very clear stance:

Remee Patel

The lean and wipe. Classic.

But then a crazy thing happened. One of my friends revealed that they stood, AND they had reasons.

Remee Patel

I'm not sure I know what she means by "view" but okay.

And then ANOTHER friend revealed that they were once a stander but are now reformed.

Remee Patel

The pressures of conforming to societal norms, guys.

So, trusted and valuable readers, do me a favour and help me figure out if this is really a thing or if I just have a couple of weird friends.