1. Swearing isn't really much of choice for you, it just comes so fucking naturally.
2. And yet people just seem to get this impression that you're aggressive.
3. Because apparently swearing isn't very ladylike.
4. But just because you say "fuck...shit...bollocks" every five minutes doesn't mean you're not a classy woman.
5. You're ladylike AS FUCK, actually.
6. Swearing is just how you like to express yourself, for fuck's sake.
7. But people often look at you like they're completely fucking disgusted.
8. Sometimes you will genuinely try to tone it down, because kids and shit.
9. But your "alternatives" aren't really alternatives at all.
10. It's OK though, because you'll totally be the coolest auntie ever.
11. And you can liven up anything with your colourful use of the English language.
12. If people think your swearing is bad, they should see you once you've had a few.
13. And when you're nervous or anxious your vocabulary becomes quite limited.
14. So dating can be a little awkward.
15. But then again, if they can't handle it, they can fuck the fuck off.
16. People have tried to enforce swear jars, but you think it's complete bullshit.
17. Even your phone tries to censor you.
18. But it shouldn't have to be that way – you should be proud.
19. Because you're a grown-ass woman who can swear as much as she fucking wants, however she wants.
So fuck the haters.
