1.
the chemistry between me and any kind of food is just whoa
2.
Her: I'm going to the gym Me: Bring me back something from the vending machine
3.
Winter is really just a 3 month long eating contest.
4.
5.
alone eating cheese so you know it's saturday night
6.
Any time I see a pic of Princess Leia's hair I get a craving for a cinnabon
7.
I'm at my most desperate when food comes but it's too hot to eat.
8.
Not sure if I actually like movies or just like looking at something while I eat popcorn.
9.
I'm smart but not "know when to stop eating" smart.
10.
If I were Tinkerbell, my pixie dust would be shredded cheese.
11.
Black bears smell up to 18 miles when hunting food. I smell my neighbor's barbecuing ribs and invite myself over. It's survival.
12.
13.
-Why do you want to work at Dunkin Donuts? *Imagines eating all the donuts on the first day and then quitting* Baking is a passion of mine
14.
Me: We really need to start eating better. Husband: Yep. M: H: M: H: M: H: M: H: Me: Wanna just have nachos for dinner? Husband: YES.
15.
5: Can I go get a piece of candy? Me: What's the rule about candy? 5: ...Not til after lunch? Me: What? No! You just have to get me one too!
16.
Stages of dieting 1. Read about new diet 2. Spend $300 on vegetables 3. Commit publicly to diet on FB 4. Dive head first into plate of bacon
17.
The problem with eating is that eventually you have to stop eating. So then you're not eating.
18.
SNICKERS COMMERCIAL: You're not you when you're hungry ME: [always hungry] ..who am I
19.
20.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop.
21.
ME: There's no i in team but there is one in pizza WIFE: so you’re not going to share ME: I am not going to share
22.
Trainer: have you been sticking to your diet? Me: *tries to mumble yes but a chicken wing falls out of my mouth*
23.
*spots cute guy* *smiles coquettishly* *walks over, leans in, gingerly places mouth to his ear* CAN I HAVE YOUR LAST MOZZARELLA STICK?
24.
My bucket list is basically a list of places I want to eat.