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24 Hilarious Tweets About Kids That Are Way Too Real For Every Parent

"Parenting is like being a juggler except all the balls are screaming."

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1.

Don't ask me if I've seen a new movie. I have four little girls. If there wasn't a singing princess in it, the answer is no.

2.

4: Mommy, you're just like a Disney movie. We should play pretend. Me: Aww! Sure! 4:You can be the Beast. Me: ... 4: Or the fat sea witch!

3.

8yo: On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me 5 golden 6: BUTTS 8: 4 calling 6: BUTTS 8: 3 French 6: BUTTS 8: MOMMYYYYY

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4.

[At dinner] Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat? Me: Probably like 90% D: So it's 10% balls? Me: *spits out food*

5.

Daughter: You're invading my personal space Mom: You came out of my personal space

6.

*5yo climbing on my chair Me: "Be careful! I don't want want you to spill my wine. ...Oh I also don't want you to get hurt or whatever."

7.

Parenting is like being a juggler except all the balls are screaming.

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8.

KID: Why's the sky blue DAD: It's sad MOM: Light refraction DAD: … MOM: … DAD: (*mumbling*) light refraction

9.

I let my toddler dress herself. She's wearing a cupcake.

10.

Pro tip: If you enthusiastically sing along, your kids will stop asking you to take them to musicals.

11.

That awful moment when your kid asks to watch "Anal-stasia" and you're not sure if it's a cute mistake or if she saw your browser history.

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12.

6: Dad, why do you have so many nicknames for me? *I break down, no longer able to cover up that I can't remember my son's name

13.

Me: Let's eat chicken nuggets. [one kid cries] Me: How about pizza? [other kid cries] Me: Spaghetti? [both kids cry] We have a winner.

14.

I can either put my kids through college or pay for one hour of Internet on a plane. Being an adult is hard.

15.

teen son: 'cause the boyz n the hood are always hard /u come talkin that trash we'll pull your card mom: take out the trash & mow the yard.

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16.

Movie tickets: $37 Snacks: $32 Listening to two five year olds bitch to go home for half the movie: priceless

17.

Dad, can I tell a story? Sure. *47 plotless minutes later* Okay, wrap it up. *15 minutes later* Okay, honey. *24 minutes later* Okaaay, swe

18.

I cut the crust off my daughter's PB&J and I swear to god I heard her whisper that I'm her bitch now.

19.

Me: "You kids aren't getting any more toys until you take care of the ones you have!" Grandma: "Here are 8,000 new toys just for existing."

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20.

Who are we? KIDS What do we want? OATMEAL When do we want it? NEVER, WE CHANGED OUR MINDS, WE DON'T LIKE OATMEAL ANYMORE

21.

[5:45 AM, in a harsh whisper] Daddy, don't worry, you can sleep. I'm making my own breakfast, how do you turn on the oven? Me: I'm up.

22.

"AND I AM DEFINITELY NOT CLEANING THESE LEGOS UP...!" Me, as I'm cleaning the Legos up.

23.

Most of being a parent means saying "Great!!" when your kid insists you watch him perform an unidentifiable skill.

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24.

Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED