back to top

17 Reasons Why Port Authority Is Literally Hell On Earth

The Dante's Inferno of public transportation.

Posted on

1. The buses are NEVER on time.

Hey bus! Where are you? Must be nice to casually not show up to work. Jealous! Wish I could do that. #portauthorityproblems

Oh your bus is scheduled to arrive at 8:32pm? Prepare to wait 1.5 hours, minimum, for it to arrive.

2. Which probably explains why the lines are so damn long.

Lines so long that 4 buses could come simultaneously and I wouldn't be on any of them #PortAuthorityProblems

3. And the gates are so crowded that waiting on line can cause a mild form of claustrophobia to develop.

#portauthorityproblems the only egress for 4 gates is blocked with 3 lines of passengers. #portauthority #NJTransit

4. Being crowded together in such small spaces makes for terrible body odor.

The accumulation of people at port authority creates the worst smell on earth.

5. The attendants who work there have no idea where the buses are arriving so they more than likely point you in the wrong direction.

It's always awesome when NJ Transit lists the wrong bus gate at Port Authority, screws a bunch of people over, and doesn't fix it. 👌🏻

6. And if you're running to catch your bus, the bus driver WILL NOT WAIT FOR YOU.

just fell running to catch my bus at port authority. it's cool though, only like 50 people saw and a handful pointed at me.

7. The ticket vending machines are almost never working, and there's nobody available to fix them/ help you.

So I'm at the Port Authority Bus Terminal where people are acting as if the Ticket Vending Machines were some strange video poker game.

8. There's no point of reading the gate schedule because a) it doesn't even make sense and b) it's not accurate.

The pamphlet #PortAuthority workers are handing out because bus gates have been reassigned. Details at noon #NBC4NY

9. So everyone just ends up standing around in a confused, cluttered mess.

Port Authority is a NIGHTMARE MESS RIGHT NOW #MTA #mtafail #nyc wtf!!! Totally unreal and unsafe. #nypd

10. Since bus schedules are so frequently confused, you end up running from gate to gate looking for your correct bus.

Big surprise: I am currently that sweaty mess running through port authority.

11. EVERY DAMN DAY

I hate these gate changes, Port Authority 😤

13. Oh and the best part of waiting on these long ass lines? THERE'S NO FUNCTIONING WIFI.

There is free NJTransit provided wifi at the Port Authority Bus Terminal and, as you'd expect, it's terrible.

Just because you can actually "connect" to wifi on your phone DOESN'T MEAN IT WILL ACTUALLY WORK.

14. There's nothing more likely to make you commit murder than hearing the overhead speaker announce "buses are experiencing delays"

FOX / Via New Girl on FOX

I'd be more shocked if the buses weren't experiencing delays.

15. Port Authority is so bad it makes other terrible places look like Heaven.

An ode to Port Authority Bus Terminal entitled: I thought Penn Station was the worst place on Earth, but now I have thee.

16. And you BETTER hope you don't ever need to pee.

I wouldn't send my worst enemy into the port authority bathroom

Port Authority bathrooms need their own TLC crime series.

17. The people you meet there... are interesting, to say the least.

Barely 8 am and I just saw a girl in port authority wearing a MENINIST shirt the world is a terrible place

I dare you to find some place more terrible.

Wondering if someone can convince me that the Port Authority is NOT the worst place on Earth.

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss