10 Things Americans Are Doing Wrong (According To Brazilians)

Except maybe the toilet paper one. Let's not do that one.

We talked to our colleagues in Brazil who told us about 10 of their everyday habits, and then they had us write the first thing that came to mind for us. Here's how we reacted:

1. Taking more than one shower a day.

Via mokasha.com

Chris Gera: Now that's commitment to hygiene.

José Luis H.: Hahahaha! Sometimes I go a whole week without taking a shower.

Alexis Nedd: That's okay if it's very hot and if, after you take a shower in the morning, you get all sweaty and don't want to go to bed feeling dirty. Otherwise, it's a waste of water!

Elaina Wahl: I rarely take a shower even once a day. My average is once every six months, more or less.

Arianna Rebolini: Ain't nobody got time for that!

Susie Armitage: It must get pretty hot down there; it makes sense.

Chelsea Marshall: HAVEN'T YOU HEARD ABOUT THE DROUGHT IN CALIFORNIA? ONE SHOWER ONLY, PEOPLE!

Erin Chack: It makes sense that, in warmer climates, people feel the need to take showers more frequently. But the water bills must be a nightmare.

2. Brushing your teeth at work.

Via ego.globo.com

Chris Gera: Actually, it seems like a good idea. But I'd never remember to take the toothbrush and toothpaste to work.

José Luis H.: That's strange. But you probably have excellent teeth. Your dental hygiene habits are way ahead of ours.

Will Varner: It's a little strange, but it seems like a good idea. I have a toothbrush at work, but I feel weird because nobody else does. So, I don't use it.

Elaina Wahl: It's not weird. But taking selfies while you're brushing your teeth is, yes.

Susie Armitage: Good to know. When I go to Brazil, I'm going to do that so that you all don't think that I'm disgusting.

Chelsea Marshall: It's weird. But I always have cavities, so who's the real fool in this situation?

Monique Bartley: Once again, Brazil makes us look like a bunch of hobos who don't know what a bar of soap is.

Sarah Kobos: I think that I should take up this habit. All of us should. Congrats.

Erin Chack: I saw a person doing this in São Paulo and thought that they had a dentist appointment later. It's bad for your teeth to brush them more than twice a day! Chew a mint leaf instead of doing that.

3. Sitting beside your partner in a restaurant.

Via ego.globo.com

José Luis H.: It's easier to kiss.

Alexis Nedd: You should look each other in the eyes and make a champagne toast with each other from opposite sides of the table! Romance is dead in Brazil!

Will Varner: Seems normal.

Elaina Wahl: Unpleasant American couples do the same thing. Notice that the key word is "unpleasant."

Arianna Rebolini: I 100% loved it.

Susie Armitage: Kinda cute.

Driadonna Roland: My boyfriend and I always do that. I think it's more intimate, but I know that it makes the waiters want to barf.

Monique Bartley: But won't you want to look each other in the eyes and see that big smile with the well-brushed teeth?

Sarah Kobos: A COUPLE THAT SITS SIDE BY SIDE?! No. Get out of here.

Erin Chack: I wish it were like that in the United States. This way it's a lot easier to share the food.

4. Hold a sandwich with a napkin and eat pizza with a fork and knife.

Via ego.globo.com

Chris Gera: It seems like a hygiene thing, BUT PIZZA WITH A KNIFE AND FORK IS THE DEVIL'S WORK.

José Luis H.: Brazil has a serious case of germophobia.

Will Varner: That's weird.

Elaina Wahl: HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU BITE THE NAPKIN?!

Ishmael Daro: Think about all the grease that's not going to get on their hands! All of that glorious, moisturizing food fat.

Susie Armitage: Hang on a second, are you making fun of us?

Chelsea Marshall: Monsters. All of you.

Monique Bartley: A life without licking the grease off your fingers is no life at all.

Sarah Kobos: Blasphemy.

Erin Chack: You will never know the true pleasure that is a hamburger until you put your bare hands on one.

5. Call everybody by their first name (including the President of the Republic).

Via boomsbeat.com

José Luis H.: Cool! All of us should learn from that.

Alexis Nedd: Seems friendly :)

Will Varner: Hmmm, it could be strange if I don't know the person or if they are older than I am.

Elaina Wahl: Ah, that's so laid-back. Also, who is this guy? I like him. He has a friendly face and he's waving casually.

Ishmael Daro: I like this idea, but what happens when there are a lot of people who all have the same name? Do you start to number them, like, John 1, John 2?

Chelsea Marshall: That's really cool! I so want to call Obama by his first name.

Monique Bartley: That proves, once again, that you guys are a group of cool, easygoing people that don't worry about silly things like titles. And that's why you don't have wrinkles and are all beautiful; you don't get stressed out by bullshit.

Erin Chack: It seems cool and friendly, as if all of you lived together on Sesame Street.

6. Throwing used toilet paper in the trash basket beside the toilet.

Via ecoviagem.uol.com.br

Chris Gera: What craziness. I liked a lot of those things up above, but not this.

José Luis H.: We do the same thing in Mexico, but I've always thought it is kind of disgusting.

Alexis Nedd: OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD. And what if it stinks? You have a trash can full of shitty paper until you change it? Disgusting.

Will Varner: DISGUSTING. Flush the poops! The washrooms must smell HORRIBLE!

Ishmael Daro: That's too disgusting. You guys don't touch the food, but leave a bunch of toilet paper, full of shit, building up in a trash can? And the smell???

Arianna Rebolini: My goodness, how WONDERFUL? I wouldn't want to take out that trash. But, it's probably good for the sewer system.

Susie Armitage: That's pretty common in a lot of countries where the plumbing can't deal with the paper very well.

Chelsea Marshall: I imagine it's because of the plumbing and to not plug up the toilet. It's disgusting, but, jeez, better than a plugged john full of shit.

Monique Bartley: For a country that seems to be so obsessed with cleanliness, it's disgusting. I feel bad for the person that has to clean that up. What happens when the trash is full?!?!

Sarah Kobos: Hang on, let me see if I'm understanding this correctly: you take two showers a day, but throw shitty toilet paper in the trash can? How can you stand being in a bathroom with such a stench?

Erin Chack: OOOPS, bad news for your sewer system. When I went to São Paulo, I even read a warning saying, "Please throw paper in the waste basket", and I thought it was talking about the paper from female hygiene products because WHERE ELSE should toilet paper go?!

7. Having 30 days of vacation per year and another 10 holidays.

Via ego.globo.com

Chris Gera: [Grinding teeth] I'm so happy for you...

Will Varner: GREEN WITH ENVY!!!!!!

Arianna Rebolini: Now, that's living.

Susie Armitage: MY GOODNESS, IT SEEMS COOL, DOESN'T IT?!

Driadonna Roland: I think I'm going to move.

Chelsea Marshall: Wait a second, you all have 40 days off? WAKE UP, UNITED STATES.

Monique Bartley: I've spent my whole life living in the wrong country, my friend.

Sarah Kobos: I only have half of that. BuzzFeed Brasil gets 30 days?!?!?!

8. Eating avocado like a fruit, including with sugar.

Via bolsademulher.com

Chris Gera: Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm a huge fan of avocado, but I don't think I like that. I think...

José Luis H.: That's it! An avocado smoothie is too good.

Alexis Nedd: I believe you, but it seems horrible. The right thing is to eat avocado with honey mustard.

Ishmael Daro: Get out of here. Avocado can only be used in guacamole.

Arianna Rebolini: Of course! Of course. Who am I to say no? Sugar makes everything wonderful.

Susie Armitage: WTF.

Driadonna Roland: That there is disgusting.

Sarah Kobos: Sad.

Erin Chack: I've seen how much sugar you all put in your coffee. I'm not surprised.

9. Setting the time of a party knowing full well that the people are only going to show up two or three hours later.

Via ego.globo.com

Chris Gera: Very fashionable.

José Luis H.: Nobody wants to be the weirdo who gets to the party first.

Alexis Nedd: Puerto Ricans do the same thing, so I'm used to it.

Ishmael Daro: It must be tough to throw surprise parties in Brazil.

Arianna Rebolini: Why don't you say the party starts at the real time? I understand that there's a bit of a delay, but that seems to be a little out of control.

Susie Armitage: So, what you're saying is that, if you want the people to get there at 9 pm, all you have to do is tell them that the party starts at 6?

Monique Bartley: I always do that. Isn't that how it works in the U.S.? I didn't get the question.

Erin Chack: If I organized a party, and no one arrived after three hours, I'd probably cry, leave the house and drink my face off at the bar.

10. Finishing messages with "hugs" or "kisses," even with people you don't know personally.

Via dentistacampogrande.com.br

Chris Gera: Ah, no problem for me ;) Kisses.

Alexis Nedd: Yuck, no. I don't like that. Don't get touchy-feely with me, not even virtually, before we become friends.

Will Varner: I wouldn't do that.

Elaina Wahl: One of my favorite emojis is the 😘, so, yes, to me it's all good.

Ishmael Daro: I think that could create unrealistic expectations that you're going to want to kiss a person when you meet them personally.

Arianna Rebolini: I thought it was cute. Even in professional messages? Of course, why not? Well, okay... Hugs, yes, but kisses, no.

Monique Bartley: Yeah! When a country is sexy, like Brazil, anybody can hug me or kiss me anytime at all.

Sarah Kobos: No. Stop it.

Erin Chack: Again, it seems very cool and friendly. It's like if your whole country were one enormous family. I like it!

Final thoughts:

OSTILL

José Luis H.: You all need Jesus.

Alexis Nedd: You seem to be very clean people, in every possible way, EXCEPT for the part about sharing your space with a box full of shit every time you go to the bathroom. It's totally nuts that it seems normal to somebody who has all of these obsessions with cleanliness.

Will Varner: Some of these things are similar to other cultures in places with warm climates! It was really fun.

Elaina Wahl: Seriously, who is this man in the photo from item 5? Is he a famous soccer player and all Brazilians are going to laugh in my face if I ask who he is?

Ishmael Daro: Brazil is a freaking cool country, but you gotta do something about this deal with the toilet paper. Seriously, it's super disgusting.

Arianna Rebolini: Brazil seems to be really cool!!

Driadonna Roland: The Brazilians seem to be very clean, aside from the fact that they throw dirty toilet paper in the garbage can instead of the toilet.

Monique Bartley: Aside from that deal with the toilet paper, the Brazilians prove that all other populations are barbarians that could do with a dose of civility. And you're also very attractive. Basically, Brazil is champion of everything.

Erin Chack: I think that the United States has to get more tuned in! You all have some very good ideas. But please, PLEASE, pick up the hamburger with your hands. Life is too short.

This post was translated from Portuguese.