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    26 Alleged "Pizzas" That Should Be Ashamed Of Themselves

    In order of escalating insanity.

    26. Cauliflower Crust "Pizza"

    tastykitchen.com

    Cauliflower, there's nothing wrong with you. You're a versatile, respectable vegetable that deserves more credit than you get. And honestly, you even make a fine, cheesy gluten-free pizza crust. But the day you darkened pizza's door was the beginning of a slow, certain descent into madness. Things have gotten out of hand, and you are to blame.

    25. Polenta Crust "Pizza"

    veggienook.com

    This one probably could have flown under the radar because polenta is nice and never did anyone any harm except for the tofu smothered all over it, which, come on. Insult, injury, etcetera.

    24. Matzoh "Pizza"

    skinnytaste.com

    If it's Passover, I guess there are worse ways to cope. If it's not, no excuse.

    23. Quinoa Crust "Pizza"

    oatmealwithafork.com

    There are plenty of acceptable venues for quinoa, but this ain't one of them.

    22. Portobello Mushroom "Pizza"

    lifeasastrawberry.com

    PortabellNO THANK YOU.

    21. Zucchini Crust "Pizza"

    foodandnewyorkcity.com

    If you want to eat shredded, flattened squash, own it. If you want to eat real pizza, call me.

    20. Low-Carb Flax Crust "Pizza"

    ibreatheimhungry.com

    This is for a dog, right?

    19. Shredded Potato Crust "Pizza"

    lxrcuisine.wonderhowto.com

    What kind of human would take something good and important, like potatoes, and press them into servitude toward these abominable ends?

    18. Cauliflower, Carrot, *and* Kale Crust "Pizza"

    fresh4five.com

    Listen, you don't get extra points just because you used THREE weird things.

    17. Broccoli Crust "Pizza"

    atastylovestory.com

    Did you miss the day in class where they explained the difference between "pizza" and "salad'?

    16. Eggplant "Pizza"

    15. Ground Beef Crust "Pizza"

    blog.stuffimakemyhusband.com

    If you want a burger, order a burger. You don't mess with the crust, man!

    14. Crustless "Pizza"

    plainchicken.com

    LOL that's literally just cheese and stuff in a pan!

    13. Spaghetti Squash Crust "Pizza"

    delightedmomma.com

    If it were real spaghetti, maybe exceptions could be made. But nope.

    12. "Pizza" Zucchini Boats

    damndelicious.net

    OK, everyone, grab a lil paddle and let's steer this canoe right down the garbage disposal.

    11. Grilled Zucchini "Pizza"

    kalynskitchen.com

    If it didn't work for eggplant...

    10. Carrot Crust "Pizza"

    joandsue.blogspot.com

    Heaven forfend they discover yet MORE root vegetables that can be smooshed into disc format.

    9. Butternut Squash "Pizza"

    8. Wild Rice Crust "Pizza"

    sheknows.com

    Not really sure what to say here, too busy SMDH.

    7. Ground Pork Crust "Pizza"

    paleoporn.net

    Keep the meat on TOP of the pizza, please.

    6. Spaghetti Squash "Pizza"

    iowagirleats.com

    Instructions: Eat pepperoni and cheese. Discard inedible squash husk.

    5. Sweet Potato and Banana "Pizza" On Almond and Wheat Germ Crust

    theroadnotprocessed.com

    Call it "breakfast flat-mush" and then we'll talk.

    4. Kale Crust "Pizza"

    talesofexpansion.wordpress.com

    Should I tell you more about this, like how it's not even normal kale? It's made with kale CHIPS?

    3. Tempeh "Pizza Chips"

    burpeesinthekitchen.blogspot.tw

    .....

    ........

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    2. Tiny Tofu "Pizzas"

    skinnyminniemoves.com

    DOES THIS LOOK LIKE PIZZA TO YOU

    1. Plantain "Pizza"

    purelytwins.com

    I HAVE HAD IT

    WITH THIS MOTHAF*CKIN CHEESE

    ON THIS MOTHAF*CKIN PLANTAIN