14. It’s shaped like Illinois, if Illinois made you want to remove the roof of your own mouth.
17. Your life will cease to be anything but a handful of arid crumbs, scattered meaninglessly across the unthinking world.
Here Are The Top Stories
- The U.S. and Cuba have agreed to open embassies in Washington and Havana as they restore diplomatic ties after more than 50 years.
- Greece has become the first developed country to miss a debt payment to the International Monetary Fund.
- The U.S. has defeated Germany 2-0 in the Women's World Cup semis. Team USA will play Japan or England in the final ⚽️