14. It’s shaped like Illinois, if Illinois made you want to remove the roof of your own mouth.
17. Your life will cease to be anything but a handful of arid crumbs, scattered meaninglessly across the unthinking world.
In The News Today
- The U.S., Japan, and 10 other Pacific Rim nations have agreed to a historic trade deal encompassing 40% of the world's economy. ›
- California has become the fifth U.S. state to legalize physician-assisted suicide for terminally ill patients. ›
- CC Sabathia, a pitcher for the playoff-bound New York Yankees, says he's checking himself into an alcohol rehab center. ›