We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1.A throw blanket with beautiful, tufty pom-poms that will turn you into the cheerleader of nap time.
2.An oversized tote bag for carrying all of your most precious belongings, aka your wallet and literally 50 different kinds of lip balm.
3.A pair of Bluetooth noise-cancelling headphones so you can block out the haters and just keep dancing 24/7 to "Thank U, Next" for the forth month in a row.
4.A dinosaur Lego set with a T-Rex, Triceratops, and Pterodactyl to bring out the inner "RAWR XD" you've been stifling since your MySpace days.
5.A mid-century modern credenza, because if you're a 20- or 30-something who still feels like you're caught between adolescence and adulthood, owning a credenza will DEF push you over to the chill adult side.
6.A table tennis set so you can totally own your friends at the Best Home Sport anytime you want.
7.A soft velvet throw pillow to rest your head on at the end of a long day. It's hard work being this elegant.
8.Ticket to Ride, a strategy board game that has players compete to forge train routes between major American cities using guile and guts! I love this game so much my partner says I have "Train Fever."
9.A nine-piece NutriBullet set so you can make yourself delicious, healthy smoothies quickly and easily. Ya gotta fuel to win!
10.An adorable galaxy duffel bag for transporting all of your gym clothes that smell *out of this world* bad.
11.A painfully cool gold lamp that will make your living room look like the inside of a swanky hotel.
16.A set of premium Prismacolor colored pencils for flexing your creative muscles for the first time in a while. It's a stressful time to be a person, and coloring can honestly help.
17.A handsome electric kettle that will make quick work of heating up water for tea, coffee, oatmeal, anything! And it'll look gorgeous on your counter to boot.
18.A 32-inch Roku smart TV so you can watch, compare, and contrast both Fyre Fest documentaries on an actual TV and not your cracked laptop screen.
19.A multipack of 11 face masks you can keep for your own personal spa nights *or* distribute amongst your friends like a true saint.
20.A bathtub caddy for making the best part of your self care routine even better. I can now sit in the tub while watching old episodes of America's Next Top Model with a glass of wine? Ok, I'm never leaving, sorry!
21.Fog of Love, a two-player role-playing board game that replicates a unique romantic comedy. Players meet, fall in love, and attempt to make a roller-coaster ride of a relationship work. LMAO NOTHING LIKE REAL LIFE. 🙃
22.An insulated marble water bottle so you can cut down on your plastic bottle use while staying hydrated *and* accessorized.
23.A gold bar cart for luxuriously serving your guests the finest hooch at all of your occasions. I promise they'll be impressed with anything from this cart...yes, even $3 wine.
25.A chic velvet sofa that'll be the *ultimate* accent piece. I'm honestly a little worried that this couch has more personality than me.
26.A Remington curling wand for finessing hair into beachy waves without the scary red-hot-clip-thing on a traditional curling iron. You also get *seamless* curls with no lines normally left by the evil clip. Long story short, it's an upgrade.
27.A delicate rose gold and white opal necklace that will make any outfit a little more sophisticated. Yes, even sweats, I hereby declare it.
28.A shaggy geometric rug to keep your feet oh-so-cozy when you get out of bed in the winter. You're welcome, feet!
29.A ball launcher so your pet can live their best life playing fetch — and you can live your best life passively watching.
30.A leopard print envelope clutch perfect for going out. Now you can let everyone at the club know you're a party animal without getting up on the tables again.
31.Some Neutrogena makeup remover towelettes to make taking your full face off at the end of the night easy as can be. Removing makeup before bed is the key to happiness, I'm convinced.
32.A Timex watch with a white leather band so when people ask you what time it is, you can actually tell them instead of saying "IT'S BALLER TIME" like usual.
33.A splurge-worthy Dyson cordless stick vacuum. I know you don't believe that cleaning could make you happy, but TRUST ME — once you pick up this lightweight, easy-to-maneuver vacuum, you will fully get it.
My best guess as to what the Walmart smiley face sticker would dance like: