7 Reasons Why "Twilight: New Moon" Is The Ultimate Sad Girl Movie

Sad girl fall is here.

After the release of Midnight Sun, the fifth installment of Stephanie Myer’s Twilight series, and with all five Twilight films now on Peacock, one thing is for sure — Twilight is once again a part of the cultural zeitgeist, for better or for worse.

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While we dust off our Team Edward and Team Jacob t-shirts, I believe society is finally ready for my Twilight manifesto: why Twilight: New Moon is the ultimate comfort movie.

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1. Bella having a dream she is a literal grandma on her 18th birthday.

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The movie begins with Bella dreaming she is the spitting image of her grandmother, all while her immortal vampire boyfriend looks as 17 as a 22-year-old Robert Pattinson possibly can. Frankly, the older I get the more I relate to Bella’s aging phobia.

2. Jasper going full rabid over one drop of Bella’s blood.

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Edward chooses to linebacker Bella across the living room while Jasper loses his entire mind over a paper cut, after having remained calm in the previous film when Bella bled out in the dance studio. This scene is full of choices. Choices that really inform Jasper’s character and show that vampire veganism is truly not a linear journey.

3. The months passing scene.

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Possibly one of the most poignant moments of modern cinema. An essentially catatonic Bella sits in a fairly uncomfortable looking chair for three months straight. The seasons change as the months flash across the screen; however, Bella does not change neither does her position, facial expression, nor clothes. It is a firm reminder that while we have all been down bad, we have never been that down bad for a man.

4. Bella almost dies at least three times and she's still the main character.

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Did Bella have an inner ear issue, was it a depth perception thing, perhaps one of her legs was too short? Whatever the reason, clumsy representation in media is important. As someone who also is prone to near death experiences, Bella as the heroine of her own story really inspires me.

5. New Moon is Taylor Lautner’s time to shine.

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As far as I can tell, Taylor Lautner is the only man Taylor Swift regrets breaking up with (source: “Back to December”). For that and that alone, I was and will forever be Team Jacob.

6. Edward’s answer to thinking Bella is dead is to literally die.

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A reminder that while we should never be as down bad as Bella sitting in, I’ll mention this again, her very uncomfortable looking chair for three months, men should be willing to die for, with, and because of us at the drop of a hat.

7. Finally — "Bella! Where the hell have you been, loca?"

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No further explanation will be provided nor needed at this time.