14. Rectangles Are Easy to Wrap
13. No Assembly Required
12. They Don't Break the First Few Times You Use Them
11. You Never Need to House Train a Book
10. A Book Is One Size Fits All Unlike That Sweatshirt
9. Dad Does Not Need Another Tie
8. And If Your Goal Is To Be Passive Aggressive and/or Emotionally Confusing, Well, You Can’t Beat the Right Book. (Not that you’d do such a thing.)
7. You Never Have to Rush Out for Batteries in the Middle of the Night
6. "We Don't Allow Books in Our House," Said NO PARENT EVER!
5. Books Are Rarely Recalled Due to Safety Hazards
4. Inscribing a Book Is Easier Than Monogramming, Well, Anything
3. It Is Easier to Mail a Book than a Pony
2. You can read it before you give it AND THEY’LL NEVER KNOW!
1. Oh. And...
despite all of our advances in technology, communication, and entertainment, nothing we have invented is quite as able to inspire our imagination, expand the reach of our empathy, move us to tears (sad tears, happy tears, angry tears, even the occasional embarrassed-for-the-character-but-also-kind-of-for-yourself-because-you've-totally-been-there tears), challenge our intellect, keep us up past our bedtime, make us believe in magic and dragons and robots and time travel, transport us to impossible locations, introduce us to unique people, and dazzle us with the beauty humans, with all our flaws, are truly capable of, than a great book. So this year, give a book.