Born on a merchant ship in the year 1759 to a Portugese mulled wine merchant and a courtesan/spy for the East India Trading Company, Piperdown, a 100% Scottish beauty, red of hair, hazel of eye, transparent of skin, voice of squeak, and temper of ...
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    • p.d.

      Oh, I remembered another one!
      Heard a woman keep mispronouncing “umbrella” over and over again. She was American, so it wasn’t a matter of a language barrier. She was saying over and over UMM-breh-luh instead of um-BREH-la. “Do you need an UMMbrella? It looks like it’s going to rain. Are you sure you don’t need an UMMbrella. Take the UMMbrella. You NEED the UMMbrella.”
      I was ready to smack the bitch myself…it was barely cloudy and, as a Florida resident, I knew it wasn’t going to rain looking like that. But before I could roll my eyes harder, some girl far more annoyed than I finally snapped and tapped her on the shoulder and said, in her best Elaine from Seinfeld-fake Australian impression, “MAYBE THE DINGO ATE YOUR UMMMBRELLA” and walked away, leaving the annoying woman in a flustered stupor.

    • p.d.

      I was a cast member in college Since he’s spoken publicly about it, I can say that I was there the night Drew Carey got shitfaced and kicked out of Disney. He was at the height of his ABC career and was definitely a mean drunk. However, I interacted with him earlier in the day before he started drinking and he was one of my favorite celebs I ever met there. He was with a blonde and a kid and was joking with me and making me laugh.
      Steven Tyler of Aerosmith came in a lot and the first time I met him I was trying to look all cool and one woman I was working with that night, who was working there as a retiree job, told me that he used to come to her house all the time and play with her kids when they were all little.
      Adam Sandler came in once and was such an asshole he ended up alienating every cast member who met him that day. So entitled and spoiled and wouldn’t listen to what we were telling him to do FOR HIS OWN SAFETY. I wanted him to get trampled by the crowd he insisted be diverted just for him…one guy against thousands of people. Yeah. Ok.  Without getting too specific, I’ve thwarted many attempts at having sex (you will be banned from property. Just don’t) and many indecent exposures to cameras on attractions (also banned…and humiliated).  In the old Wonders of Life pavilion at Epcot there was a film called The Making of Me that starred Martin Short and was basically about how babies are made. You could always spot the newly pregnant women because they would walk out of the film bawling.  There was a show in Innoventions that was a live science show and no one ever stayed on script there. The jokes got raunchier the closer the show got to closing for good and one guy used to take the liquid nitrogen out and peer into the canister with a thinly veiled reference to the rumor that Walt Disney’s head was frozen. “Uncle WALT?!!”
      One night a construction worker hit a power line and half the park went dark for hours. This was right after the infamous (in the area) two nights of tornadoes that killed people and destroyed houses and a woman, who had lost people in the storms, had a panic attack thinking the storms were back. As a natural disaster survivor myself, I felt so hard for her. One time we saw a guest wheel a backpack up an entrance ramp and then walk back down the same ramp a minute later without the backpack and take off running. Naturally, to the casual observer (a paranoid guest), this looked suspicious. It took three police agencies and the bomb squad to determine that the dude was just dropping it off to his wife, who was in line. This was before bag checks at the main gate. But do not ever underestimate how much goes on behind the scenes to make sure the park stays safe. Even something vague like that is taken super seriously.

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