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128 Things That Aren't Penises At All

The longest list of things that ARE NOT penises that you will see today.

1. This leaning tower:

2. This cutout:

3. This short blanket:

4. This headphone loop:

5. This stalactite:

6. This tile:

7. This horn:

8. This glob of toothpaste:

9. This snowblower:

10. These long faces:

11. This stance:

12. These awesome hubcaps:

13. Pretty much everything in this pic:

14. Meowth's finger:

15. These tracks:

16. The extra growth on this carrot:

17. This tandem pose:

18. This floppy ear:

19. These lockers:

20. This dog's back:

21. This crystal:

22. This guy's thumb:

23. This nasty cut:

24. These candleholders:

25. The grip on this wine label:

26. This lil' tuber:

27. This mortar and pestle:

28. This science experiment:

29. This sausage:

30. This ultrasound:

31. This shadow:

32. This lasting impression:

33. This informational sign:

34. This holy cucumber:

35. This hearty meal:

36. This guy keeping cool in the pool:

37. This warm pillow:

38. This slab of meat:

39. This outgrowth:

40. This nimble gymnast's pose:

41. This sack of birdseed:

42. This pulpy german orange juice:

43. This group photo:

44. This pressed meat:

45. This hammer and anvil:

46. This Black Forest specialty:

47. These balloons:

48. This fine art:

49. This tasty chocolate:

50. This beautiful angel:

51. This scene from Stranger Things:

52. This root:

53. This swarm of birds:

54. This hat:

55. This toy:

56. This ring display:

57. Langeoog Island:

58. This Beats display:

59. This bread:

60. This cold-cut imprint:

61. This little piece of fruit:

62. This tater:

63. This cactus:

64. This bubble:

65. This coloring book picture:

66. This turnip:

67. This chocolate-dipped cone:

68. This hot rooster:

69. This floor plan:

70. This broken egg:

71. This flower:

72. This cat's cast:

73. This vegetable:

74. This happy plant:

75. This kid's towel:

76. This backrest:

77. This perfectly shattered phone:

78. This umbrella and contrail:

79. This furball:

80. This prickly plant:

81. This weightlifting bench:

82. This emerging fruit:

83. This carrot:

84. This innocent puppy:

85. These slices of bacon:

86. This pointy fence:

87. These hot sausages:

88. This dandelion:

89. This delivery service:

90. This part of Europe:

91. This logo:

92. This art at Jade Bay:

93. This squirrel with a croissant:

94. This popsicle:

95. ...from any angle:

96. The Holy Mother:

97. This well-rubbed piece of meat:

98. Squidward's nose:

99. This lil' carrot:

100. This side dish:

101. This long shadow:

102. This man and his big wheels of cheese:

103. This pear with a stem:

104. This hanging chandelier:

105. This bald head under a hat:

106. These bales of hay:

107. These lights:

108. This trendy veggie:

109. This German lint remover:

110. This lovely canyon:

111. These four letters:

112. This claymation ice cream:

113. This air pressure gauge:

114. This monkey tail:

115. This cloud pattern:

116. Spider-Man's air nozzle:

117. These bicycle racks:

118. This pepper grinder:

119. This door knocker:

120. These bannisters:

121. These weather-worn rocks:

122. This delicious fruit juice:

123. This fountain:

124. This hook:

125. This baby panda:

126. This dinosaur head:

127. This picture from a children's book:

128. And the audio track of Modern Talking's "You're My Heart, You're My Soul":