Did you know that the world is going to end on Sept. 23, 2015?
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The date was prophesied by Sir Isaac Newton's interpretation of Daniel 9:25.
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Also, French Foreign Affairs Minister Laurent Fabius, a member of the Bilderberg Group, proclaimed on May 13, 2014, that the world had "500 days to avoid climate chaos." 500 days from May 13, 2014, is Sept. 24, 2015.
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It's going to happen as a result of a convergence of many events including the restart of the CERN Large Hadron Collider, the conclusion of the Jade Helm 15 project, a collision with Comet 67P, and President Obama meeting with the pope at the White House.
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And it all lines up with the fourth of the "blood moons," which many believe to be a sign of the end times.
The signs have been everywhere, including this old episode of The Simpsons.
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So clearly, we only have a few weeks before the apocalypse! Here's some stuff you can do in the meantime.
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1. Embrace an "inbox zero" lifestyle.
2. Identify all things that either are or are not problematic about Miley Cyrus.
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3. Catch up on Mr. Robot.
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It's a pretty good show!
4. Start wearing expensive brightly colored sneakers and insist on referring to them as "kicks."
5. Stop using shampoo and start washing with diluted vinegar.
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6. Eat two bananas in one day.
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7. Experiment with lucid dreaming.
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8. Arrange some olives in a dish in case company drops by.
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9. See the world's biggest ball of twine.
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10. Figure out if your Sears gift card also works at Kmart.
Sears
11. Take your topknot game to the next level.
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12. Pickle something that isn't a cucumber.
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13. Get waaaaaaaay into CrossFit.
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14. Read the manga of Dragon Ball so you can compare it to the anime.
Shueisha
15. Befriend a horse.
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16. See what this "Netflix and chill" thing is all about.
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17. Find your doppelgänger.
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18. STAY WOKE.
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19. Get really passionate about Negronis.
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20. Finally get around to listening to some jazz.
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21. Find out why everyone's so excited about kale.
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22. Look forward to basking in the eerie crimson glow of the coming blood moon.
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23. Enroll in an adult education course and learn how to code.
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