1.
When y’all been kissing for an hour and she tells you to lock the door https://t.co/QTwgHwMAF5
2.
If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one.
3.
Sex before work have you walking around feeling like the manager
4.
Aye these tortillas better chill. 🤕
5.
If women knew how hard it was to shave testicles maybe they'd give us a break
6.
Testicles: it's too hot inside ur body 😩😩 if we can't regulate our temperature we can't work 🙅🙅 so we have to dangle here all exposed 🙃🙃 Ovaries: https://t.co/oDwgqNDinb
7.
I don't think my pharmacist likes me
8.
My parents are celebrating their thirty year anniversary today ❤️ Here’s a picture of them on their first date 😍
9.
When you on the first date and she says “lets go back to my place”
10.
When you slobbin on his knob like corn on the cob and you look down at his balls
11.
Hooters, but it's guys with big balls
12.
Me: *rubs her thigh* Her: *gets up and lock the door* Me:
13.
When you slept through the "you up" text at 2am and randomly wake up at 4 am to see it and call with hope
14.
We sucking dick in the middle of arguments ladies. Con. Fuse. Him.
15.
16.
When I choke her and she choke me back
17.
When your girl sends you nudes without asking
18.
Day 342 without sex: I accidentally told the In-N-Out worker I wanted doggy-style fries instead of animal-style fries.