1. Kindly ask them why they're touching your hair.
2. Grab their hands and guide them to their sides.
3. Run your hands through their hair without asking.
4. Start screaming in agony.
5. Lie and tell them it’s been months since you’ve washed your hair.
6. Fabricate the lice you've been dealing with for years.
7. Start barking like a dog.
8. Fake an extremely intense orgasm.
9. If all else fails, just disappear.
