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    18 Earth-Shattering Stories From Local Newspapers This Summer

    It's the angry runaway tortoises, the leaning lampposts, the free sausage rolls, and the men humping mattresses that make this country great.

    1. There was tragedy in York.

    2. And real tragedy in Newcastle. / Via Twitter: @Colbear

    Imagine the horror: "There was only one full can but that has lost its fizz and had no pressure."

    3. A terrible crime was committed in Westbury, Wiltshire.

    4. Firefighters had to rescue a dragon from a river in Taunton.

    Only later in the story does it mention that this was in fact a resin sculpture and not, sadly, an actual fire-breathing creature.

    5. This happened. Won't someone think of the children?

    6. Someone wrote "bus wankers" near a bus stop in Hull.

    7. There was a lamppost in Lancaster that was leaning very slightly.

    8. The happiest day in Bridgwater history dawned.

    9. The people of Reigate made an important discovery.

    10. Things were hotting up in Derry.

    11. Residents of Hampstead, north London, faced this summer's greatest #MiddleClassProblem.

    12. Chas & Dave said Eastenders is "unrealistic", according to the Evening Standard.

    13. A tortoise had the time of its life.

    14. A bus wing-mirror was damaged by a jacket potato in Brockholes, West Yorkshire.

    15. People were praying for the residents of Pontgarreg.

    16. Someone grew a banana in Surrey.

    17. A GIANT MUSHROOM appeared there too.

    18. But at least there was a free sausage roll up for grabs in Plymouth.

    James Edwards / Facebook

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