Everyone likes the Jurassic Park films. And everyone likes the Super Mario Bros games. But did you ever realise they were SPOOKILY CONNECTED?
This suggests that the next movie will be Jurassic Galaxy, and people have already been imagining how amazing it might be.
"JURASSIC GALAXY" @prattprattpratt
(Well, that's actually a print by artist Tim Doyle from January, but you get the idea).
It's a totally awesome fan theory, right?
"BUT WAIT!" I hear you saying. "You've missed out Super Mario Bros 2 – because there wasn't a Jurassic Park 2. Doesn't that kill your stupid theory, you total bumwad?"
WELL NO IT DOESN'T.
Super Mario Bros 2, as everyone knows, wasn't a proper Mario game at all. It was a rebadged version of a game called Doki Doki Panic, released in the US because Nintendo of America decided not to release the original sequel – which would become known as Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels. SO THE THEORY HOLDS. Sort of.
Anyway, once you dig into it, you realise that the truth has been staring you in the face all along.
Both series are about an epic struggle between man and giant lizard. And they even have the same characters.
Alan Grant (played by Sam Neil) is just like Mario. He's the safe, dependable but ultimately dull hero.
Ian Malcolm (played by Jeff Goldblum) is the sexy outsider who gets NO credit, just like Luigi.
Ellie Satler (played by Laura Dern) is basically Princess Peach.
And Bowser is OBVIOUSLY the T-Rex.
We're not quite sure where Yoshi fits into this, but we're working on it. He's definitely a dinosaur, though, because duh.
Add to all this the fact that Jurassic Park and the (in hindsight quite terrible) Super Mario Bros film were released JUST ONE WEEK APART.
And there you have it. Easily the best dinosaur-video game conspiracy theory of the year so far.
