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Literally A Bunch Of Tweets From Another Batshit Day In UK Politics

Make. It. Stop.

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Before you read this post, just press play on this dance remix of the jaunty little song David Cameron absent-mindedly sang while walking back into Number 10 on Monday.

I spent yesterday evening remixing David Cameron. I'm very proud... #cameron #humming

Done? You may now continue.

After another day in which UK politics resembled a series of interconnected practical jokes from people who think the end of the world would be great fun, on Tuesday it looked like we might get a breather.

We had a new prime minister, the old one was packing his bags, and the markets had reacted well. The sun – briefly – came out.
Dominic Lipinski / PA WIRE

We had a new prime minister, the old one was packing his bags, and the markets had reacted well. The sun – briefly – came out.

But oh no. It keeps on coming. We may have a new PM, but she has no idea which car to get in.

Theresa May leaves Number 10, walks to the wrong car and takes time to give a wave from the doorstep.

Totally styled it out.

Maybe all future PMs should be chosen based on their ability to successfully leave a building.

How many times are her aides going to make her practice coming out and standing in front of the door after this?

But the real drama on Tuesday was in the Labour party, which has not so much fallen into internal conflict but full-blown nuclear warfare.

Basically, Labour's ruling national executive committee (NEC) was meeting to decide whether Jeremy Corbyn would need 51 nominations from MPs to be on the ballot paper for the forthcoming party leadership election.

A media scrum gathering on Victoria Street ahead of Labour's NEC meeting this afternoon.

The NEC had a vote on HOW TO VOTE to decide this (they went for a secret ballot instead of just putting their hands in the air).

Labour NEC vote 17-15 to hold secret votes on proceedings today

There were Pokémon outside the NEC meeting, though it was unclear what this meant for the future of the party.

FYI there's a wild Pokemon outside the Labour NEC meeting. Unclear whether there are any in the room.

Corbyn was then told he would have to leave the room.

Jeremy Corbyn is about to be excluded from Labour NEC meeting. Secret ballots thought to favour critics.

But instead of leaving he reportedly unleashed perhaps the most Corbynesque act of his career: He staged a sit-in protest.

Labour NEC chair tells Corbyn to leave the room but Corbyn refuses to go

So is Jeremy Corbyn actually, finally, staging A SIT IN? All eyes on his tiny banner, bandana and unfurled knapsack (on which to sit)

There was a call to have the police remove him.

Chair must close meeting or ask police to remove him if he refuses to leave. #Farce

And speculation on how he might get back in.

Corbyn trying to get back in the NEC meeting like.....

Corbyn's spokesman said he actually left willingly, however.

Corbyn's spokesman says reports he refused to leave the Labour NEC meeting when asked are "a total fabrication" and he left straight away

Still, it's safe to say that not everyone is great mates in Labour at the moment.

Labour feels like one of those warring couples who spend every last penny on lawyers because they can't agree who gets to keep the house.

And even if he ISN'T on the ballot paper, his influence will linger on, like Obi-Wan Kenobi instructing Luke Skywalker from beyond the grave.

If you exclude me from the NEC meeting I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine

This pretty much sums it up.

Jeremy Corbyn is Schrodinger's politician; so unpopular that he is 'unelectable' & so popular that he needs to be kept off the ballot paper.

Meanwhile, people questioned whether Labour leadership hopeful Angela Eagle was getting good media advice.

Taking a leaf from Corbyn's book, Larry the Downing Street cat wasn't cooperating with the authorities either.

Larry stages a protest by lying down in Downing Street.

Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson summed up the differing fortunes of the two main parties right now with a classic penis-based metaphor.

Wow. @RuthDavidsonMSP on the Tory leadership contest reaching a climax long before Labour

Then – because nowhere is safe any more – the Trades Union Congress, more known for tub-thumping campaigns on workers' rights, invited people to its office to catch Pokémon.

Find pokéballs at @The_TUC HQ on #PokemonGo. First 12 players to come in and say hi get a free donut on us too!

"Gotta Organise 'Em All."

And to cheer us up, lots of people made their own versions of David Cameron's little tune, including this mournful piano and cello number.

View this video on YouTube

And this lilting waltz.

View this video on YouTube

Here's how to play it at home.

But then someone solved the puzzle of what tune Cameron was singing: It's the new Evil Tory Theme Tune!

After announcing #TheresaMay will be PM on Weds #Cameron leaks Evil Tory themetune. (Needs sound... Wait for it!)

Already, it's been quite a week.

Patrick Smith is a senior reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.

Contact Patrick Smith at

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