The 7 Stages Of Finding Out Your Ex Is Getting Married (With Help From High Fidelity)

You're fine about it... right? RIGHT!?

1. The Reveal

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Maybe someone you're still Facebook friends with liked their engagement status, or maybe you're an accomplished cyber stalker. Either way, the news is out.

2. The Hilarity

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Your mind can't comprehend that the person you spent a possibly significant portion of your life with has had enough time since to meet, get to know, and fall in love with someone in the same stretch of time it took you to transition from skinny to slim jeans.

3. The Confusion

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WHO IS IT AND WHAT DO THEY HAVE THAT I DON'T!?

4. The Melancholy

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They have the fact that they're not terrible, like you - you, the big, stupid ball of terrible, I mean look at you, why would anyone settle down with you, you stupid, Dominos-coupon-hoarding, pathetic excuse for an adult. You don't even own a car.

5. The Anger

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WELL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU PREFER TO CYCLE! AND ANYWAY YOU'RE GREAT, YOU ALWAYS KNEW THE KILLERS WERE OVERRATED AND (S)HE HAD NO APPRECIATION FOR PHILOSOPHY IN SIXTH FORM SO FUCK THEM, IDIOTS. YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THEM!

6. The Soul Search

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You know what? You broke up for a reason. You just weren't right for one another. (S)He liked apples, you liked aftershock, it wasn't meant to be. Plus, do you even believe in marriage anyway? Have you ever thought of that?

7. The Acceptance

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Don't let the silly shit hold you down.

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Because the only person you should ever hold on to, is yourself.