15 Questions Japanese (or Japanese-American) Women Are Sick Of Hearing

[A.K.A. Worst Pick-Up Lines for Japanese Women]

1. "Do you like sushi?" (Can you make some for me?)

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For the nth time, yes I do like sushi - do you like hamburger? Great. There are also a gazillion other things to eat, so no, we don't eat it every day.

(Re: cooking, I didn't apprentice under an iron chef - so I can't whip up an artistic 10-piece nigiri plate at home. Mea culpa.)

2. "Do you do karate/jujutsu or any type of kick-ass martial art?"

knowyourmeme.com

Um, I played volleyball and soccer. Yes karate is something one can take up, but we wouldn't spontaneously yell out "Ayyyyy-ah!" even if we had.

3. "Do you like anime?" (or manga?)

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Anime is a big genre - we might like certain shows/movies, but not necessarily all girl-on-girl action high school drama with micro uniform skirts. Just like you might have liked South Park and Fantastic Mr. Fox, but not Mulan.

4. "Aren't you excellent at math?"

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Unfortunately I was good enough at math to perpetuate this stereotype, but I have friends who could not add or multiply for the life of them. Practice helps, but genetics alone don't automatically produce mathletes.

5. "Are you a student here?"

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You get this question even past age 30. And no, we won't wear a school uniform costume just to fulfill your fantasy.

6. "Do you do origami?"

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We often learn some when we are little - like how you did macaroni art in kindergarten. We don't remember a whole lot, unless we look it up. If you are Japanese-American, then... well you may or may not, since you are American!

7. "How come you speak English so well?"

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Well, it helps to live here... and why shouldn't we?! If you are from Japan, English education begins at a fairly young age. (From Junior High it's a mandatory subject.) And if you are Japanese-American... again, d'oh, then it's your first language.

8. "Are Japanese women obedient/submissive? They seem so nice..."

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Most Japanese women I know are quite strong, and they are the boss in most households once married (though taught to be feminine and not let on). They are the finance minister, and typically give husbands allotted "pocket money." How do you think Japan has the highest amount of savings per capita? By not letting men handle money!

9. "I want a Japanese girlfriend because I *love* Japanese culture."

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This one's not really a question, but common nonetheless (as seen in the "Wanted: Japanese Girlfriend" shirt above). Dunno, you may like Canadian culture (which is of course exactly the same in Vancouver and Newfoundland), but you probably wouldn't blindly advertise you wanna date any random dude from Canada.

10. "I've been in Korea [or another Asian country] - so I understand your culture." (Let's go out?)

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Would you try to befriend a Frenchman by boasting you once had a layover in Germany...? Me neither.

11. "Do you eat whales/dolphins?"

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Typically, no - most people never have. It's not as though it's a coveted delicacy everyone wishes to have, either. I should mention, the photo above is from Alaska, where Inupiat Eskimos continue their sacred whale hunt. In Japan whale hunts are also very regional and limited in scope. Actually since the locals weren't as scary as the producers hoped, they had to use hired actors to dramatize conflicts when filming The Cove. (The sign in the movie where it supposedly says "Keep Out [of hunting area]"? That was a road caution sign for falling rocks/landslide area.)

12. "Do you wear a kimono at the drop of a hat?" (Please come wearing one to my party!)

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Actually, no... The thing is so darn complicated, if to be done properly, most people need someone else to help put it on. The above pic shows the various accoutrements needed for "simple kimono wearing." It's a bit like getting your hair done in Victorian style or something - doable, but a pain in a butt w/o help.

13. "Do you do tea ceremonies at home?"

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If you're really into it you might, but usually, no. It's an elevated, ritualistic form of entertaining guests - and while that's nice, teabags and pots are easier.

14. "Can you cook with flame like a hibachi chef? Can you flip shrimp into glasses?"

anime-manga.cz

Hibachi, or “fire bowls,” are actually rather large containers - heating devices that hold burning charcoal to heat your home (not a tiny cooking stove). What you see above is a teppanyaki propane grill and a vaguely Asian chef putting on a show, which he likely learned at this restaurant. No, sadly we don't learn the shrimp tricks in school. C'est la vie.

15. "Don't Japanese women love western/American men, because Japanese guys' penxxes are small?"

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Don't get me wrong - everyone loves Slater. But like everything else, it depends on that person - there are small & big Americans, small & big black guys, or small & big Japanese guys (and everything in between). It's really not about the size though; what matters is whether we fit as individuals. The ultimate truth? Nobody likes a dick.