1.
For one, the thought of waking up early makes my skin itch.
2.
I get the urge to have deep convos at a time when only the crickets are awake.
3.
I pretend to value my sleep and then learn the entire choreography to a Gaga song at 2 a.m.
4.
And when I finally lay down, I spend another hour and a half watching YouTube videos about how cheese is made.
5.
I have an unhealthy obsession with late night informercials.
6.
I can't seem to start a series on Netflix without spending the entire night finishing it.
7.
I literally count to see how many hours of sleep I'll get EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.
8.
But before I know it my mortal enemy, the sun, gives me an unwelcome greeting.
9.
Tossing and turning is the greatest skill on my resume.
10.
I'll tell myself "OK, now it's REALLY time to sleep" and then begin to question my existence.
11.
I dread setting all 300 of my alarms.
12.
And once they go off, I unknowingly turn 'em all off and look exactly like this:
13.
I resemble a dehydrated sponge every time I wake up in the morning.
14.
And even when I try my best to get ready, it only works in my favor 2% of the time.
15.
I refuse to interact with people who are doing the most in the mornings.
16.
So I go about my day saying this to anyone who will listen:
17.
Then repeat this process all over again at night.
