1.
Identify things in vaguest way possible.
2.
Lose all ability to make a decision.
3.
Pretend that sandwich-making is a race.
4.
Expect a sandwich to taste like anything other than a sandwich.
6.
Never listen to a damn thing.
7.
Be an awful shit monster.
8.
Expect the sandwich artist to read your mind.
9.
Start a fight over a quarter and a penny.
10.
Rudely cut to the chase.
11.
Touch anything other than your wallet.
12.
Not make up your mind.
13.
Expect service when you come in after hours.
14.
Ask for an option that DOESN'T EXIST.
15.
Bring your own alcohol.
16.
Be creepy about your requests.
17.
Joke around like this is a comedy show.
18.
Ask for a salad IN your sandwich.
19.
Vaguely ask for "the white cheese."
20.
Tell us how to do our job.
21.
Be really, really, really lazy.
22.
And finally, show public displays of affection.
