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The trick to beating the heat is you can't.
Laying on a patch of dirt outside sounds so much more pleasant.
It's probably just one of many daily baths and showers.
"Is this water or sweat?"
Angering a hot person is a death wish.
Pants are the Devil.
"Hey, can I come over for an hour or four?"
"Why?"
"I wanna see you...and your AC."
And it STILL doesn't do the trick.
Laying around is obviously the best cardio.
There's nothing like feelin' a bit gross right before bed.
Let's face it, only one of the methods KINDA works.
Or a popsicle, a bag of ice, a wet napkin...
The sun is the ultimate intruder.
An igloo sounds nice too.
Your reality should not become theirs.
And your sweat stains begin to look like abstract art.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Fido: "I never signed up for this."
Even if it's snowing outside.
The floor is prime sleeping territory.