17 Moments Every Gay Man With Straight Friends Has Experienced
"Am I a twink?"
1. When you want to go to a gay bar for once but your friends insist on going to the same ol' bar.
A fresh view would be nice for once.
2. When they try to set you up with the one other gay person they barely know.
"So I know this guy, he's gay too."
3. When they try to get you to classify them using your "gay lingo."
"What's a twink? Am I a twink?"
4. When your friends begin introducing you as their "gay friend."
And not even ironically.
5. When your friends continually ask you whether or not someone else is gay.
Gaydar isn't some sort of superpower.
6. When your friends organize a "girls' night out" and invite you.
Last I checked I didn't identify as a girl, but OK.
7. When your friends complain about how there are no available straight men for them.
You have a WHOLE SEA, we barely have a pond.
8. When your friends can't seem to understand that no one is the designated "woman" in your relationship.
Are you low-key asking me who's the top and who's the bottom?
9. When your friends act like Grindr is downright creepy but then act like Tinder is any different.
It's all the same. Really.
10. When your friends won't stop asking you questions about how gay sex works.
And then try to equate their own sex life to yours.
11. When they constantly expect you to be in the know about every pop star from the past five decades.
Not every gay person loves Gaga.
12. When your male friends constantly say "no homo" around you to reinforce their masculinity.
Chill out.
13. When your friends assume you care about anything and everything that has the word "gay" in it.
Yes, I am gay, but it is only part of who I am, not the whole picture.
14. When your friends expect you to know the ins and outs of the fashion world.
Being gay isn't synonymous with having the ability to pick the perfect outfit.
15. When your friends decide that "bitch" or "girl" is somehow a nickname you volunteered for.
HAY GURL HAY.
16. When your girl friends are weirdly comfortable being naked around you.
"I just got a nipple ring, LOOK."
17. When your friends try to relate to you by calling themselves a "gay man trapped in a straight person's body."
The empathy is appreciated, but that's probably not true.