1. When you're continually made fun of for having a cell phone that's older than everybody else's.
The iPhone 4 is basically a fossil now.
2. When you have to endure hours of window shopping while your friends are doing actual shopping.
You guys are going to Nordstrom? Let me just hop into Ross for a quick second.
3. When no one takes your recommendation to have dinner at Taco Bell seriously.
There's nothing more hearty than a two dollar Chalupa Supreme.
4. And then your friends go ahead and make dinner plans at a place that has more than one dollar sign on Yelp.
Even one dollar sign is a stretch. Where's the half dollar? Or free?
5. When your friends agree to split a bill evenly and you all you ordered was a side salad.
There's nothing worse than paying for someone else's expensive taste.
6. When you have to micro-analyze your waiter's behavior to determine the perfect tip amount.
Recounting how many times they smiled at you is time consuming.
7. When you try to convince your friends that the club with no cover IS in fact more fun.
Dancing is so much more fun when you're $10 richer.
8. When you're unwillingly assigned as the designated driver but no one ever bothers to pitch in for gas.
My car doesn't run on friendship. Pony up the money.
9. When any birthday party invitation means you have to attempt to salvage your checking account to afford a present.
Re-gifting is a perfectly acceptable choice as well.
10. And a new engagement only means you'll soon have a registry to deal with.
Of course the happy couple needs a $560 set of plates.
11. When you have to deal with the embarrassment of your debit card getting declined in front of everyone.
Even the ATM machine is silently judging you.
12. When they suggest a weekend getaway that's WAY out of your price range.
It's either a ticket to Bora Bora or paying your rent. Choose wisely.
13. When a friend asks you to spot them for drinks but you barely have enough money for yourself.
Leave your wallet at home.
14. When you're invited to a party and told to contribute a dish and some "good" liquor.
The good wine is always the cheapest wine.
15. When you have to keep making excuses until pay day as to why you can't go out.
Nothing's sweeter than a direct deposit.
16. When holiday gift exchanges require you to scour every store for the cheapest gift with the most expensive aesthetic.
They'll never know the difference.
17. When your friend's favorite happy hour spot is still too damn expensive.
You might as well bring your own drinks to the bar.
18. When you have to explain why your hand soap is 99% water and 1% soap to every friend that comes over.
Germs are no match for your watered down soap.
19. And then entertain them on your one-of-a-kind furniture pieces.
"I'm going for the minimalistic look."
20. When your friends constantly complain about how broke they think they are while sipping down some $25 cocktail.
Ask Siri to define broke to you please.
21. And then feel the need to tell you how you should budget your own money.
Just because you've got a better job doesn't mean you're some sort of financial guru.
