1. Swallow an entire octopus (or sea monster, IDFK what that is) and look FIERCE while doing it.
2. Stroll down a red carpet riding a human-powered horse like the equestrian she was born to be.
3. Create an iconic black perfume "with the feeling and scent of blood and semen."
4. Walk in these 39,404,390-inch heels and maintain perfect balance.
Even when coming off a plane!
5. Offer up her singing services in space.
6. Wear a dress made entirely of raw beef, make fashion history...
...and use it as a reason to avoid people.
7. Jump off a stadium roof in front of 117 million people and live to tell the tale.
8. "Bleed to death" on national television.
9. Literally float away in the world's first flying dress.
10. Write lyrics to a 🔥 bop on a typewriter while in a moving car.
11. Allow a fan to absorb her star power.
12. Make dead Kermits a fashion statement.
13. Smash an entire cake and then seductively roll around in it.
14. Give birth to a machine gun in the name of ART.
15. Arrive at the Grammys in a human-sized "egg"...
...and emerge in the most fabulous way possible. 🐣
16. Hang out with the Dalai Lama like it's NBD.
17. Overshadow pizza with some cake. 😏
18. Kill two people during a blood-soaked orgy with Matt Bomer...
19. ....and win a Golden Globe for it, because not only can she sing like an angel, she's also a killer actress.
20. Werk a slow-mo cam like no 👏 other 👏
21. And finally, create the Born This Way foundation, which is committed to empowering young people.
Never change, Gaga. ❤️
