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1. When you witness PDA.
2. When you see someone wearing sunglasses inside.
3. When someone inquires about the status of your dating life.
4. When a stranger tells you to smile.
5. When you're forced to converse with a person you don't know.
6. When someone says that a joke you just made is kind of offensive.
7. When you work retail and your boss tells you the customer is always right.
8. When you run into an acquaintance who wants to chat it up and you're not in the mood.
9. When someone asks why the two of you don't hang out more often.
10. When you're listening to someone with no vocal ability whatsoever sing.
11. When you have no idea what the hell to order in a coffee shop.
12. When someone talks about making an effort to eat more fruits and vegetables.
13. When you contemplate whether or not you're a nice person.
14. When you arrive at a social gathering and make a beeline for the drinks.
15. When someone asks how things went with that person you went home with the other night.
16. When a sales associate is way too aggressive.
17. When you're not quite buying someone's line of bullshit.
18. And when you're asked the question, "How are you?"
Here's to Larry David.
And to all of us who, in a slight way, are social assassins.
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