Once upon a time, in the year 1998, Elvis Crespo released a song that would burn into the memory of every Latino who listened to it, like a bad brujeria spell. That song was "Suavemente" and for a while...it was actually good.
1.At every quinceañera, every club, every wedding, every funeral...
2....this song would infiltrate the sound waves with it's catchy merengue beat.
3.It was the GO TO song that pulled your 50-year-old tía and your stuck-up primos onto the dance floor.
4.It was the heartbeat of every family gathering.
5.It was the song that brought you to life...
6....and will always have a special place in your heart.
7.BUT there's another group of people who want this song to be locked in a box and thrown overboard into the depths of the Carribean Sea.
8.Those who get a chill down their spine at the sound of Elvis Crespo's orgasmic voice.
9.There are those who take joy in denying us "BESAME! BESAME!"
10.Some think that we've had enough "Suavemente" for one lifetime.
11.And just want DJs around the globe to kindly stop playing this merengue masterpiece.
12.And to be fair, they kinda have a point. The song is super played out, dangerously bordering "Caballo Dorado"/ "Macarena" levels. But having said that...
13....it's really hard not to rip up the dance floor when it comes on.