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18 Thoughts Men Have About Their Own Bodies

"RECEDING HAIRLINE."

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1. "I think I'm getting fat."

TBS

If you think you're getting fat, then you probably are.

2. "I need to build some muscle. I look like a friggin' skeleton."

Fine Line Features

#ScrawnyAssMofo

3. "Is my hair... receding? Oh God."

seattlite09.tumblr.com

"My life is seriously over."

4. "Is that a bald spot? I'll just comb over it and it'll go away."

Cartoon Network

But it won't. It'll only get bigger and more visible. Embrace the bald spot.

5. "Is that a gray hair? Nonononono. GET OFF!"

New Line Cinema

::PLUCK::

6. "OMG! S/he's coming. She's gonna think I'm fat. I should tuck in my belly."

BBC

The truth is it won't make a difference. You're still fat, homie.

7. "My pecs look like man boobs. GODDAMN IT!"

Disney

Doesn't matter how many times you go to the gym, they'll always look like man boobs.

8. "Why is it that I go to the gym everyday and I don't see results. I should be looking like The Rock by now."

I'm in the mood for love (and by love I mean pancakes & lips) AM training. On set workout trailer. #HERCULES

Dwayne Johnson@TheRock

I'm in the mood for love (and by love I mean pancakes & lips)

AM training. On set workout trailer. #HERCULES

5:27 AM - 18 Jun 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

9. "I'll walk around with my chin up so I don't accentuate the fat under my chin."

Just let it be.
afreeca TV / Via youtube.com

Just let it be.

10. "I wish there was a way to make my penis bigger."

Hasbro

There is no way to make a penis bigger – Oh wait. There is.

11. "How many goddamn sit ups does it take to get a six pack?"

youtube.com

Like, for real. 'Cuz this is taking forever.

12. "Shit... I can see my nose hairs."

HBO

Yup. Getting old. It happens.

13. When going to the beach: "Do I absolutely have to take off my shirt?"

giphy.com

One of the many reason why going to the beach is just the worst.

14. When shaving ~down there~ with a razor: "Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up. Ouch. Don't fuck up."

Warner Bros.

Perhaps an electric razor is better suited for those sensitive occasions.

15. Also: "How much am I supposed to actually shave?"

Warner Bros.

You can't have too much or too little. And finding a happy medium is terribly complicated.

16. "Do people actually like my beard? This was a stupid idea. I should just shave it off."

youtube.com

At the end of the day, you'll keep it because it's your baby.

17. "Why does my sexy stare make me look super creepy?"

Warner Bros.

Unless you're Ryan Gosling (for some reason), you will NEVER have a sexy stare.

18. "Are those... crow's feet? That's it. I'm old. Youth is over."

Next step: BOTOX.
youtube.com

Next step: BOTOX.

Men have the same body issues like everybody else. And if a man tells you otherwise, they're probably lying.

WWE

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