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29 Struggles Of Growing Up With Unreasonably Overprotective Parents

Where are you going? Who are you going with? When will you be home? Who'll give you a ride?

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1. Telling your parents you're going out is only slightly different from getting cross-examined for murder.

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2. They have rules for everything, including how you should dress.

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3. And juuuust a couple of other things.

4. They disapprove of some of your friends on account of their being "bad influences."

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Little do they know who the real bad influence is.

5. They have an incomparable network of spies that will report back your every move.

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NSA, watch out!

6. They think you're about 3 years old even when you're 23.

"You'll always be my baby."
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"You'll always be my baby."

7. Literally 3 years old.

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8. You feebly protest on occasion but you know it's never going to stop.

9. They convince themselves (and you) that they're cool parents by recounting every event they ever gave you permission for.

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10. You try to stay out of trouble at school because if word ever reaches your parents, somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.

11. And that somebody is usually you.

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12. They thought it best to never discuss the birds and the bees with you. You had to find out yourself.

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13. They're certain that you're addicted to every substance humans can be addicted to.

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14. You're used to a life with zero privacy, because your parents are always up in your business and want to know everything.

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15. Overprotective parents have heightened senses that can even detect that one drag you took from a friend's cigarette three years ago.

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16. This is what your phone looks like if you've been unavailable for 30 minutes.

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17. Followed by calls to all the friends you've ever had.

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A girl from my fifth-grade art class called. Looks like my mum's looking for me.

18. You have to work very, very hard to convince them to let you do anything. And the response is usually:

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Why? "Because I said so."

19. Your grandparents are your go-to allies to tell your parents to chill.

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20. There is always a good cop-bad cop routine involved.

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It's a conspiracy and you're always going to be the criminal.

21. You try arguing and throwing a tantrum every time they stop you from doing something.

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Solid reasoning, angry screaming, puppy-dog faces, or full-blown sobbing.

22. You even try guilting them into it.

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23. But it's like talking to a wall. An angry unreasonable wall.

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24. Next thing you know, a tiny argument has snowballed into every remotely bad thing you've ever done since the day you were born.

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"How can you ask to go to a party when you're only going to be on your phone all the time? You know what your phone bill is? How many times have I told you not to talk on the phone while it is charging? You never want to listen to your parents!"

25. Sometimes they get really emotional and start questioning your upbringing.

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26. When you point out how none of your friends' parents act as neurotic as yours do, they respond by saying, "It's because we love you more."

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Hah, friends!

27. All the extra love aside, we're still envious of friends with cool parents.

28. After being vehemently opposed to all your romantic prospects during your formative years, they're suddenly disappointed in you for not having found a life partner when you hit 25.

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29. You may have countless fights, and hated them a few times...

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But you're grateful to them for raising you to be a responsible, careful, circumspect adult...

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And a phenomenal liar.