50 Thoughts That Capture What It's Like To Take A Rickshaw As A Girl
Boys have it a lot easier, you don't even know.
1. Wow I actually washed my hair, wore a coordinated outfit, had a nutritious breakfast and still have 5 minutes to spare.
2. I can't believe I'm actually going to make it to work early on a Monday.
3. Today's a great, bright shiny day and I'm going to slay it.
4. And there's a whole line of empty rickshaws just outside my house!
6. Oh they're literally empty. Not a problem, I'll just stand here till a rickshaw comes and gets me.
7. There's one! *Makes frantic flagging down motions*
8. Oh someone's in there already and they're all looking at me like I'm blind and bat shit crazy.
9. Here comes an empty one, "Rickshaw! RICKSHAW! RICKSHAAAAWWW!!!!"
10. That son of a bitch didn't even turn to look at me!
11. I thought I looked great today.
12. I bet if I had worn a skirt or dress today, 15 would have stopped.
13. I haven't been ignored this hard since I was in a relationship.
14. Damn my 5 minute head start is gone and I really can't afford to be late again.
15. I can def feel the sweat patches, "WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE RICKSHAWS??"
16. Oh shit, is there a strike today that no one told me about?
17. Nope Google says it's all cool.
18. Ooh there's one. Please stop please stop pleasestoppleasestopplleeeaaassee.
19. Oh yay, "Bhaiya Bandra chaloge?" Nahin? NAHIN? WTF is nahin?
20. PAR KYUN?! Isn't this illegal?? *Pretends to dial 100*
21. Wow no fucks were given by this rickshaw walah as he drove away.
22. Okay this is the last one I'm trying before calling a cab.
23. "Please chalo na Bandra. Please." SUCCESS!
24. Whoa! This dude thinks he's the brother Michael Schumacher lost in the Kumbh Mela.
25. Welp my good hair day is gone.
26. I now look like I just survived a tornado.
27. HOLY FUCK THAT BUMP!
28. Did my boobs just fly right out of my bra. GOD!
29. *Bump* Is he doing this on purpose? Or is it just the bad roads?
30. Aaaand the driver's looking at me in the rear-view mirror.
31. KYA DEKH RAHA HAI BHENCHOD?! *Stink eye*
32. This is making me uncomfortable as hell but it's too much effort to actually get down and try to find another rick.
33. I'm just going to sit right here and be super passive aggressive to him.
34. "Bhaiya left. LEFT. LEFTT!!! Sun nahin sakte kya?"
35. Oh god where is he taking me? I think I'm getting kidnapped like that one episode in Crime Patrol.
36. If I jump out of this rickshaw, how much damage will I cause?
37. A broken leg is way better than getting kidna-- Oh there's the main road. *Phew*
38. *Bump* Okay almost there. *Bump* Just 2 more lanes. *Bump* You can do this.
39. These jumping boobs are going to result in some serious back pain.
40. *Clutching on to them for dear life*
41. I can literally see the office building but the whole lane is jammed.
42. I really don't want to walk right now.
43. I'll wait while the driver curses me for getting him stuck in this lane.
44. MADE IT! I would do my victory dance but I'm too weak from that harrowing journey.
45. The meter says 48. Please god let me have change.
46. Ohh I have a 50, I think before the driver takes it, yells, "Chutta nahin!" and speeds away.
48.This bright shiny day is just a clay oven in the depths of hell now.
49. Front camera shows that I look like a victim of something tragic.
50. Nothing major, it's just my everyday commute.